August 5, 2008 The Most Random Day Ever

Today was a really good day. It was a really random day but good nevertheless. I felt more encouraged than I have lately. I still am unemployed and still have no idea what God is doing in my life but I am confident that everything is going to work out in my favor.

So this is in no particular order, but these are just the highlights of my day.

I have this dream book of things I would like to do before I die. Duh of course they would be before I die. I couldn’t do them after I was dead unless Oprah will have her favorite things show in Heaven. Some things are random like learn to play the violin and some are more serious like opening my performing arts center. Well, one thing on that list was I wanted to get Pilates certified while I was in New York. Didn’t know how it would happen and I wasn’t looking to do that now. Anyway, I was on craigslist and there was this posting for an internship where if you do a few work study hours and teach they will certify and train you in Pilates…for free. So, I sent them an email and guess what? They called me for an interview tomorrow. Don’t know if I’ll be a fit, but I thought that was cool. Kind of like Jesus winking at me and telling me everything is gonna be alright.

My friend J came to New York for the week. He is a DJ and a model and was meeting with agencies to get signed. That was cool because it was our first visitor and we were super excited. On top of that he had never been to New York so that was even cooler.

So because J is a DJ, I found this museum that had an exhibit on the history of mix tapes. So we went down to Chelsea to this exhibit and all I could say was what the heck. I can’t even describe the kind of stuff they had at this exhibit. Christmas lights strewn over Plexiglas. Men dressed up as feminine ballerinas fondling microphones while they sing; four white sheets with pointy tops and white feet carrying a glass casket. I thought to myself, “Are they supposed to be the KKK and if so how much trouble will I get in if I kick the exhibit?” (See picture). I mean it looks a little like the KKK right? I guess anything is art. So if I stand in one place and drop dog meat over my head is that art?

I’ve never been much of a sports fanatic, but tonight I think I fell in love with street ball. Its one thing to watch a basketball game on television but it’s another thing to see street ball. Something about is so dirty and real. I really enjoyed it. So how did I find my new found love? I’m glad you asked. I didn’t know his name so we will just call him number 11. Ha ha. Just kidding. I’m not that man crazy.

Anyway, I put a call into the Mayor to see if he had any ideas for what we could do to entertain J. He invited me to watch a basketball game. Since I had turned down his offer before and had nothing to do I figured that we should go check it out. So we meet the Mayor and he drives us to Ruckers Park. Now I don’t know if you have ever heard of Ruckers Park, but some of the best street ballers have played on that court and boy is it hood. So I thought that we were just going to some random game but it was actually a celebrity basketball league. Of course we get there and it’s full and they’re not letting anyone else in. But I forgot we were with the Mayor. He talked to a few people and just like that we were in. How cool was that? What was even crazier is we looked up a few feet away and saw someone who resembled Rhianna. Oh shoot it is Rhianna. And that dude looks like Chris Brown. Wait it is. I didn’t even know he could play basketball but he did a really good job. It was just one of those random things that happens on a random day. Chris Brown playing basketball as his girlfriend Rhianna cheers him on and takes pictures.
But who cares about Chris Brown? He’s an awesome entertainer but there was something there even more entertaining. Did you know that the Harlem Shake is not dead? I mean they still do the Harlem Shake in Harlem. Fancy that. I was shocked! There were these teenage guys there dancing and they were so tight. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. So I talked to them afterwards to see if they had a crew and they agreed to let me come down to where they rehearse and take some photos. Who knows maybe I’ll end up doing a documentary on street dance crews in New York. Ha ha. Just kidding.

As we were leaving the game Jaime and J both had to use the restroom leaving me and The Mayor alone. All of a sudden he pulls out a wad of one hundred dollar bills. So I asked what anyone would ask to someone who just pulled out that much money with no fear of being jacked.

The conversation that erupted from that is below and no it is not fiction…

The Mayor counting his million dollars (okay not millions but definitely thousands)

Dez: Aren’t you afraid that someone’s going to try to jack you.

The Mayor: I wish a nigga would

Dez: Are you sure you’re not a drug dealer?

The Mayor: (laughs) Why would you say that?

Dez: You’re not afraid that someone is going to steal your money and everyone knows and respects you.

The Mayor: I been around a long time. I grew up here. They should know me. And respect is a good thing.

Dez: (interrupts) I mean cuz if you’re a drug dealer, it’s cool. It just means I have to wear different shoes when I’m around you. I probably have to wear sneakers so I can be ready to run and walk thirty paces ahead of you in case people start shooting.

The Mayor: (laughs) Ok, if I’m a drug dealer how did I buy all my clubs?

Dez: Duh you paid everybody off (In my head I’m thinking…You can’t fool me. I know how this goes. I had TVOne and watched all the old episodes of New York Undercover). You sure you’re not a drug dealer cuz I can’t be riding around in a car with a drug dealer.

The Mayor: I am not a drug dealer.

End of Conversation

I know it sounds crazy, but I had to ask. I am not trying to be an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent because this negro failed to tell me that he had 20 bags of coke in his trunk that was stolen from the mafia and people follow us and shoot up the car then everyone dies except me cuz I got shot in the butt but didn’t feel it so I witness all of it and the mafia grabs me and tortures me under the Brooklyn Bridge by letting cat sized rats gnaw at my feet then they throw me on the subway tracks and I hit the third one that electrocutes me then a subway hits me then that weird guy from Criminal Intent comes in and figures out how they kill me and everybody goes to jail. I just took a breath. I know it was all one big run on sentence but it was for effect people.

Oh one more random thing. You know how you see people go from car to car on subways? I always wanted to try that. So today I did. It was really fun. Ha ha. I’m so silly!