I am really inspired right now. I am a firm believer that who you are is a compilation of the people you surround yourself with. That means that in each of the areas that you want to experience growth in you need to have someone around you who is stronger than you. I am learning to do this in many areas including spiritually, monetarily and in dance. As I am at this conference around all of these people who have done well for themselves I am encouraged that I can do the same. Sometimes we hit snags and we fail and we make the determination that that is our fate.
I’m one of those people that need to hear the horror stories. So often when you meet people who are successful they speak of all they have now and where they are, but often many of us would benefit to know where they’ve been. It is easy to deceive yourself into thinking that because they are doing well now that it was always that way or that they have no more troubles or concerns. That’s not the case.
Part of this convention was an awards ceremony at a hotel. So we all get dressed up in formal gowns that force us to suck in our stomachs and shoes that hurt after five minutes. It’s so exciting. Are you sensing my sarcasm? Anyone who has ever had catered dinners at the hotels know how it works. They give you a choice of iced tea, coffee or water. I mean dang can we have lemonade sometimes? They bring out the salad and the rolls. Then you get the main course then dessert. Usually the food is just ok, but this hotel had awesome food. I have never seen anyone ask for another plate because you just don’t. They paid for one plate per person. But my feeling is they made the food based on numbers and some people paid and didn’t show up right? So why let the food go to waste? So because I like to defy rules and go against the grain I asked for another plate. And you know what? They gave it to me. The word says ask and you shall receive. Why shouldn’t that apply to food?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
12/12/08 Florida part 2
You never know someone until you live with them or are forced to stay in a hotel room with them for days on end. I rarely room with people I don’t know, but it was cost effective for this trip. Now I know them as associates but beyond that not so much. We are all different type of women and there were things I could appreciate about them and things that made me want to run away and hide. I was staying with these different women and I wanted to briefly describe them. I’m curious if you will be able to figure out which one I am.
Women #1: She is determined and never quits. Her personality is at times so strong that it makes it difficult for her to get along with others, especially women. She loves the Lord, but sometimes it comes off as being legalistic and not accepting of people who are not like her. She says whatever is on her mind without thinking but at the same time is very sensitive. Things have to be her way and she will inconvenience the entire world to get what she wants. She is that person who is uptight and never wants to be late. Her very presence can stress you out. But she is the most caring person and would give her right arm to those she cares about. She is extremely loyal.
Women #2: She is a really laid back woman. The type of person that anyone can hang out with and get along with and she finds it especially easy to get along with the guys. She is a naturally beautiful woman who doesn’t fuss much with hair and makeup unless it is a special occasion. She is kind of down for whatever and goes with the flow. She is highly opinionated and believes her way to be the correct way though she will listen to your point of view. She is very smart and has a lot of great skills but sometimes doesn’t recognize how great she is.
Women #3: She is super goofy. She is always making people laugh which makes them want to be around her. Sometimes she can’t turn this off and it can appear over the top or like she is attempting to get attention. The other side of her is that she is mature and has the ability to look at other’s situation objectively. It makes it easy for her to talk to. Often she is the peacemaker trying to make sure everyone gets along and smoothing out rocky situations. Her tolerance is really low and her moods change like underwear. She is like a chameleon and adapts to whatever situation she is in. She can be the life of the party but when she is ready to go that’s that.
Women #4: She is the ultimate girly girl. She has more makeup, facial products and stuff than you could imagine. Her regimen to prepare for her day and to go to sleep is ridiculous. She is always late because she is getting ready even though she is the first person in the shower. She takes a great deal of pride in how she looks every time she steps out the door. She is very kind and cares about others though she can be highly self-absorbed. Men naturally flock to her and she doesn’t mind using this to her advantage as long as it furthers her goals and dreams. She is quiet and introspective and doesn’t waste time on idle words.
Now I possess elements of all these women but I am describing four very different women. This is what I observed while being around them in and out of the workplace. It has been a long time since I have hung out with a group of women so I found it very enlightening. It has brought me to this question…
Is there something wrong with a man you hardly know taking you on a shopping spree? This is something I am pondering. I am really fascinated by all of this. Now what differentiates a gold digger from someone who just falls into a favorable situation? Maybe a gold digger seeks it. I ask because this happened to woman #4.
No sooner than when she exited the plane a man began to follow her (unbeknownst to her). She just thought he was coincidentally in all the same places as her in the airport. He finally approached her and they made a date for that evening. He has been around all weekend although she just met him. She doesn’t claim to love him or anything but isn’t opposed to getting to know him. As a date he wanted to take her shopping. He is wealthy and she needed some suits. Now is this wrong? She didn’t mislead him into thinking there would be an exchange for the shopping spree. She didn’t ask for it nor did she bring it up again. Is it wrong for her to go shopping on his tab? Would I do the same? Probably not but only because once he told me he was following me my crazy radar would’ve went off.
Conversely what kind of man extends these type of things to a woman he just meets? I am not saying he is a bad guy but could it be a self esteem issue. Maybe he felt she was over his head so he wooed her with gifts. I don’t know. Just an observation.
One last thing. You know what’s worse than sleeping next to a man snoring at night? Sleeping next to a woman who snores like a man. Women #1 snored so bad during this trip. There are no words to describe it. The first night it wasn’t that bad. The funny part is she tried to blame her snoring on someone else. She claimed she heard women #2 snoring. No boo. You snored so loud you woke yourself up. Don’t try to blame that on anyone else.
The next night only Jesus saved her from my wrath. I was already sleeping in the hotel room when she came in and began to be loud. So then I was awake. Before I could get back to sleep the snoring began. I was pissed. I looked at the other women in the room sound asleep. In my head I thought can’t you hear this? Oh that’s right you have earplugs in. So I just had to sit there trying to sleep. What made it worse was we had to be up so so early the next morning. I called her name hoping she would turn on her side. I thought of stuffing a sock in her mouth. I thought of putting a pillow over her head but instead put it over mine. I could still hear this heifer. I got so frustrated I went out into the hallway of the hotel and begin to pray. Seriously. First I begged God to shut her up because I was so sleepy and tomorrow was going to be a long day. I mean if He could part the Red Sea clearly he could part a way through her nasal cavity where air could get in and out silently.
Second I prayed that I would be able to control my irritation if for some reason I couldn’t get back to sleep. I can be really moody and if I couldn’t sleep because she was moving bulldozers with her snores I would be irritated. I am not a liar and my face expresses how I really feel really well. So I knew I would be a witch tomorrow and I wanted to head off the devil and remind myself to stay cool.
So I sat on that hallway floor, rocked myself, calmed down and went back to the hotel room. Eventually I did get to sleep.
Women #1: She is determined and never quits. Her personality is at times so strong that it makes it difficult for her to get along with others, especially women. She loves the Lord, but sometimes it comes off as being legalistic and not accepting of people who are not like her. She says whatever is on her mind without thinking but at the same time is very sensitive. Things have to be her way and she will inconvenience the entire world to get what she wants. She is that person who is uptight and never wants to be late. Her very presence can stress you out. But she is the most caring person and would give her right arm to those she cares about. She is extremely loyal.
Women #2: She is a really laid back woman. The type of person that anyone can hang out with and get along with and she finds it especially easy to get along with the guys. She is a naturally beautiful woman who doesn’t fuss much with hair and makeup unless it is a special occasion. She is kind of down for whatever and goes with the flow. She is highly opinionated and believes her way to be the correct way though she will listen to your point of view. She is very smart and has a lot of great skills but sometimes doesn’t recognize how great she is.
Women #3: She is super goofy. She is always making people laugh which makes them want to be around her. Sometimes she can’t turn this off and it can appear over the top or like she is attempting to get attention. The other side of her is that she is mature and has the ability to look at other’s situation objectively. It makes it easy for her to talk to. Often she is the peacemaker trying to make sure everyone gets along and smoothing out rocky situations. Her tolerance is really low and her moods change like underwear. She is like a chameleon and adapts to whatever situation she is in. She can be the life of the party but when she is ready to go that’s that.
Women #4: She is the ultimate girly girl. She has more makeup, facial products and stuff than you could imagine. Her regimen to prepare for her day and to go to sleep is ridiculous. She is always late because she is getting ready even though she is the first person in the shower. She takes a great deal of pride in how she looks every time she steps out the door. She is very kind and cares about others though she can be highly self-absorbed. Men naturally flock to her and she doesn’t mind using this to her advantage as long as it furthers her goals and dreams. She is quiet and introspective and doesn’t waste time on idle words.
Now I possess elements of all these women but I am describing four very different women. This is what I observed while being around them in and out of the workplace. It has been a long time since I have hung out with a group of women so I found it very enlightening. It has brought me to this question…
Is there something wrong with a man you hardly know taking you on a shopping spree? This is something I am pondering. I am really fascinated by all of this. Now what differentiates a gold digger from someone who just falls into a favorable situation? Maybe a gold digger seeks it. I ask because this happened to woman #4.
No sooner than when she exited the plane a man began to follow her (unbeknownst to her). She just thought he was coincidentally in all the same places as her in the airport. He finally approached her and they made a date for that evening. He has been around all weekend although she just met him. She doesn’t claim to love him or anything but isn’t opposed to getting to know him. As a date he wanted to take her shopping. He is wealthy and she needed some suits. Now is this wrong? She didn’t mislead him into thinking there would be an exchange for the shopping spree. She didn’t ask for it nor did she bring it up again. Is it wrong for her to go shopping on his tab? Would I do the same? Probably not but only because once he told me he was following me my crazy radar would’ve went off.
Conversely what kind of man extends these type of things to a woman he just meets? I am not saying he is a bad guy but could it be a self esteem issue. Maybe he felt she was over his head so he wooed her with gifts. I don’t know. Just an observation.
One last thing. You know what’s worse than sleeping next to a man snoring at night? Sleeping next to a woman who snores like a man. Women #1 snored so bad during this trip. There are no words to describe it. The first night it wasn’t that bad. The funny part is she tried to blame her snoring on someone else. She claimed she heard women #2 snoring. No boo. You snored so loud you woke yourself up. Don’t try to blame that on anyone else.
The next night only Jesus saved her from my wrath. I was already sleeping in the hotel room when she came in and began to be loud. So then I was awake. Before I could get back to sleep the snoring began. I was pissed. I looked at the other women in the room sound asleep. In my head I thought can’t you hear this? Oh that’s right you have earplugs in. So I just had to sit there trying to sleep. What made it worse was we had to be up so so early the next morning. I called her name hoping she would turn on her side. I thought of stuffing a sock in her mouth. I thought of putting a pillow over her head but instead put it over mine. I could still hear this heifer. I got so frustrated I went out into the hallway of the hotel and begin to pray. Seriously. First I begged God to shut her up because I was so sleepy and tomorrow was going to be a long day. I mean if He could part the Red Sea clearly he could part a way through her nasal cavity where air could get in and out silently.
Second I prayed that I would be able to control my irritation if for some reason I couldn’t get back to sleep. I can be really moody and if I couldn’t sleep because she was moving bulldozers with her snores I would be irritated. I am not a liar and my face expresses how I really feel really well. So I knew I would be a witch tomorrow and I wanted to head off the devil and remind myself to stay cool.
So I sat on that hallway floor, rocked myself, calmed down and went back to the hotel room. Eventually I did get to sleep.
12/11/08 Barbie versus Women
It’s crazy that I have traveled more than I ever have while living in New York. Since leaving California I have visited Vegas, Pennsylvania, Virginia, DC, Jersey, Georgia and am headed in Miami for a convention with my company. I am convinced it’s because the states are really close together and it takes like five minutes to be in another place. So like I said I am in Miami and am excited. The weather is great and the sun is shining.
Cities have personalities just as people do. If you asked people for certain characteristics about cities they would be able to supply a pretty finite answer. For instance, everyone thinks that people in California are friendly on the surface but generally materialistic and fake. Because clearly we all live five minutes from the beach and that’s all we do we are not as intelligent as the rest of the world. New York has a reputation of being fast paced. Its people are considered rude and no nonsense. I had never been to South Beach and what I learned was what was important to the inhabitants there. I am just going to list some things I saw.
1) Mannequins with boob jobs. I guess technically it wasn’t a boob job on a mannequin but they were all oversized. Every female mannequin. If they were on a real person they would probably topple over. Just like Barbie. Let’s take a commercial break to talk about Barbie versus a real woman. I’m sure some of you have read this before but humor me.
Barbie's legs are 50% longer than her arms, whereas the average woman's legs are only 20% longer than her arms.
To look like a Barbie proportionally, a healthy woman would need to add 61 cm to her height, subtract 15 cm from her waist, add 13 cm to her chest, and 8 to her neck length. I wouldn’t mind the addition of 13cm to my chest. Just kidding. Kind of.
If a woman had the same measurements as Barbie, she would not have enough body fat to menstruate (and obviously to have children). On some days that would seem tempting but I’ll take kids for $500 Bob.
There are 3 billion women on the planet who don't look like Barbie; only 8 women come close.
Barbie would be unable to walk upright (she would need to walk on all 4's): her feet are so proportionately small that her chest would pull her perpetually forward onto her toes.
Cities have personalities just as people do. If you asked people for certain characteristics about cities they would be able to supply a pretty finite answer. For instance, everyone thinks that people in California are friendly on the surface but generally materialistic and fake. Because clearly we all live five minutes from the beach and that’s all we do we are not as intelligent as the rest of the world. New York has a reputation of being fast paced. Its people are considered rude and no nonsense. I had never been to South Beach and what I learned was what was important to the inhabitants there. I am just going to list some things I saw.
1) Mannequins with boob jobs. I guess technically it wasn’t a boob job on a mannequin but they were all oversized. Every female mannequin. If they were on a real person they would probably topple over. Just like Barbie. Let’s take a commercial break to talk about Barbie versus a real woman. I’m sure some of you have read this before but humor me.
Real Women
Average woman's height is 5'4"
Their weight is approx. 140 lbs.
They wear a size 14 dress
Their bust is between 36" and 37" (B cup)
Their waist is between 30" and 34"
Their hips average between 40" and 42"
Their shoe size is estimated to be between 8.5 and 9.5
Average woman's height is 5'4"
Their weight is approx. 140 lbs.
They wear a size 14 dress
Their bust is between 36" and 37" (B cup)
Their waist is between 30" and 34"
Their hips average between 40" and 42"
Their shoe size is estimated to be between 8.5 and 9.5
Barbie (as a human)
Barbie's height would be 7'2"
Her weight would be 101 lbs.
She would wear a size 4 dress
Her bust would be 39" (FF cup)
Her waist would be 19" (same as her head)
Her hips would be 33"
Her shoe size would be a 5
Barbie's height would be 7'2"
Her weight would be 101 lbs.
She would wear a size 4 dress
Her bust would be 39" (FF cup)
Her waist would be 19" (same as her head)
Her hips would be 33"
Her shoe size would be a 5
Barbie's body would have room for only half of a liver and only a few inches of intestines, as opposed to the usual 26 feet. The result: chronic diarrhea and death from malabsorption & malnutrition. How attractive is that? Chronic diarrhea anyone?
Barbie's neck is twice as long as the average human's which would make it impossible to hold up her head. So she would look like a bobble head?
Barbie's waist is the same circumference as her head. How is that even possible? Talk about hour glass figure. I would imagine watching her eat would be similar to watching a snake eat a whole rat. Its body expands to make room.
Barbie's legs are 50% longer than her arms, whereas the average woman's legs are only 20% longer than her arms.
To look like a Barbie proportionally, a healthy woman would need to add 61 cm to her height, subtract 15 cm from her waist, add 13 cm to her chest, and 8 to her neck length. I wouldn’t mind the addition of 13cm to my chest. Just kidding. Kind of.
If a woman had the same measurements as Barbie, she would not have enough body fat to menstruate (and obviously to have children). On some days that would seem tempting but I’ll take kids for $500 Bob.
There are 3 billion women on the planet who don't look like Barbie; only 8 women come close.
Barbie would be unable to walk upright (she would need to walk on all 4's): her feet are so proportionately small that her chest would pull her perpetually forward onto her toes.
Well that’s what the mannequins looked like and their nipples were really oversized so that you could see them through every shirt. Highly inappropriate. Don’t they have bras for mannequins?
2) I met at least one man there who was working as a club promoter at night to put himself through medical school. Wanna know what he was going to school for? You guessed it! To be a plastic surgeon.
3) Sucky dancers with boob jobs dancing on the bars in restaurants. Yes they were hired and they were terrible dancers. All I could think is why would you hire these terrible dancers and think it would promote your restaurant. If I wasn’t saved I would’ve pushed them off the bar and shown them how it was done. I actually did that once a long long long time ago. Some of you actually knew that Dez. Let’s not talk about it.
4) Drag queens with microphones on the street that clown people walking by. It really bothered me that he was doing this. He said something to one of my colleagues as we walked by. The old Dez came out for a second and I turned around for a rebuttal but two of the guys I was with grabbed me and told me not to do it. It made sense later. This man dressed as a woman make think he is actually a she and therefore see no problem hitting me in my face. He may be dressed as a woman but still had the strength of a man. Yeah that would be all bad. Plus we were walking by a gay club so I could’ve really made a lot of trouble for myself. Thank you Jesus!!!
That concluded my night in South beach!!!
That concluded my night in South beach!!!
12/3/08 Hoodwinked at Christmas
Jaime, my mom and I went to the Christmas Tree Lighting in Rockefeller Center and it was amazing. If you can get past all the people confined in a limited amount of space then you can really enjoy a lot of what New York has to offer. We have gotten a lot of favor when it comes to experiencing things in New York. We seem to always know someone who knows someone even though we don’t know that many people. Because Jaime’s friend’s mom works in Rockefeller Center, we got VIP passes. Did this mean our view was that great? Not really but that’s not the point.
I have to find a new word to use instead of bamboozled. I use it entirely too much and it’s getting on my nerves. The new word is…hoodwinked! That’s how I felt at the tree lighting. It was airing “live” on TV yet some of the artists weren’t even there. For instance Beyonce was supposedly there live but we were looking at her on a screen as well though we had a clear view of the stage. They taped it on the roof in a different location. So I didn’t get to see Beyonce but I got to see Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers to my hearts content. Do I look like a 13 year old? I don’t care about seeing them. Give me a break!
Something that I have discovered is that when you live somewhere you often overlook the culture and richness of that place. There were so many people who had traveled from other countries to see New York but I know natives who have never been to the Statue of Liberty or other historical landmarks. Crazy huh? Not really. I didn’t do stuff in California. I was too busy living life to pay attention to stuff like that.
One more thing. You know the movie A Christmas Story? I love that movie. It is a classic in my eyes. Remember when Ralphie’s mom put like 2,000 layers on his brother so he would stay warm? He had on so many layers he couldn’t put his arms down? That’s how Jaime looks in the winter. Like a big freakin 5 year old abominable snowman. Its classic!
I have to find a new word to use instead of bamboozled. I use it entirely too much and it’s getting on my nerves. The new word is…hoodwinked! That’s how I felt at the tree lighting. It was airing “live” on TV yet some of the artists weren’t even there. For instance Beyonce was supposedly there live but we were looking at her on a screen as well though we had a clear view of the stage. They taped it on the roof in a different location. So I didn’t get to see Beyonce but I got to see Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers to my hearts content. Do I look like a 13 year old? I don’t care about seeing them. Give me a break!
Something that I have discovered is that when you live somewhere you often overlook the culture and richness of that place. There were so many people who had traveled from other countries to see New York but I know natives who have never been to the Statue of Liberty or other historical landmarks. Crazy huh? Not really. I didn’t do stuff in California. I was too busy living life to pay attention to stuff like that.
One more thing. You know the movie A Christmas Story? I love that movie. It is a classic in my eyes. Remember when Ralphie’s mom put like 2,000 layers on his brother so he would stay warm? He had on so many layers he couldn’t put his arms down? That’s how Jaime looks in the winter. Like a big freakin 5 year old abominable snowman. Its classic!
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