Go Away Nasty Foot Looker

I think that it is true that one guy helps you get over another guy. Now I am not saying that is a particularly great way to heal but it does help. The doctor’s interest in me regardless of how real or lasting it is makes me feel better about myself. Maybe all guys aren’t the scum of the earth.

What I am learning is that anyone you come into contact with can teach you things that allow you to grow as an individual. For instance, I know that I have a control issue. I want to handle things when I want and the way that I want all the time. Interestingly enough God used my encounters with the doctor to reveal this to me in more detail.

There would be moments when we would be on the phone and it would be dead quiet. That totally irked me. I hate silence. So instead of letting it be quiet I would ask a question. Most people know that a tactic for gaining control of a conversation is to ask questions. Whoever is asking questions is in control because the other person is always answering. The minute the tables turn you have lost control of the conversation. I wasn’t intentionally using this as a means to gain control. I just couldn’t stand the silence. This is what God revealed to me.

1) Even when I spend time with the Lord I am guilty of the same thing. I can’t just be still in his presence. I have to have music on or be reading the word or be active. I never just sit in the silence and wait for Him.

2) That I need to not always try to control everything. Next time I talk to him I need to let it be silent when it’s silent. Wait for him to ask a question. It could be that it takes him longer to gather his thoughts. The conversation will flow much better if I do this.

The next time we talked I implemented this and it worked wonderfully.

Duh duh duh duh duh. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. It is time for another adventure with the nasty foot looker.

Here is how the conversation went…

“I miss you,” he says. Insert eye roll here since we never talk and I haven’t hung out with you in months.

He asks, “Can friends watch movies together?”

I reply, “Yes.”

So he asks, “Can I come over and watch movies at your house?”

“No.” I wanted to say something much worse but restrained myself.

“You don’t trust me?”

“Heck no. What have you done to warrant trust? I don’t know you and you don’t know me.”

“Do you consider us friends?”

“Uh no.”

“Well then what are we?”

“Associates.”

“That makes me feel cheap.” Sidenote: Dude are you serious? You’re a man. I need you not to be that in touch with your emotions. That makes you feel cheap? It’s not like I hung out with you and left money on the nightstand after. Hanging out with someone has a price. I don’t even want to hang out with you which means there is no price. You can’t label something with no price as cheap. Back to the story.

“I apologize if you feel that way. That was not my intention but you need to fall back. You’re making me uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m lost in the woods trying to find the right path to your friendship.” You have got to be kidding me. What did you watch The Notebook before you called me with this? Sheesh. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.