Friday, August 8, 2008

You ever have those days when you know that you have to wake up early and as your alarm goes off for the fifth time you’re so near tears you want to scream because the thought of having to get out of bed is unbearable? That’s how I felt this morning. I didn’t want to get out of bed. Me and J had stayed out too late the night before and I had to be downtown by 9:15 so that I could interview with temp agencies. It totally sucked, but I made it through. Actually both agencies really liked me and said they wanted to get me working right away. It was so nice. I felt like finally there was a little bit of a break in the clouds and boy did I need to hear that good news.

I had really wanted to see Step Brothers and since Jaime had movie cheated on me J agreed to go see it with me. So I get dressed and he gets dressed (not in the same place) and we walk out the door. We go down the elevator and look at each other and realize that we match. We both had on lime green shirts. I mean we were bright. We look like a pack of sour skittles and we laugh because there is no way that anyone is going to believe that this is by complete happenstance. I mean if we both walked out in black shirts it wouldn’t be so noticeable but bright green? Not to mention depending on the day J can look black, Puerto Rican or white and today he was looking quite clear. So we are going to be walking down the street as the billboard for jungle fever’s cutest couple. I know we have come a long way but people still castigate interracial couples. The sad thing is I actually had a boyfriend and we dressed alike on a regular basis from 1999 until 2002. We actually got cutest couple our senior year of high school. Shout out to baby cakes. You know who you are! J and I had the option to go change but I thought it would be much more fun to watch the reaction. Then we started seeing how many people we could spot who could join our interracial lime green family. There were quite a few.

One thing I haven’t adjusted to is the random weather here. There we are walking through Times Square and this random dust storm starts. This was no little storm. I mean there was dirt as tall as buildings. I felt like any minute I was going to be transported to Oz via dust. Just when you thought it wouldn’t go any higher it began to percolate down landing on various body parts including my lips. This wouldn’t be the worst thing except I was wearing lip gloss. So it got stuck. Great. Now I may be transferring rat dookie via dust on my lips.

Certain places are known for certain things. Philly for their cheese steaks, Florida for their oranges. Napa Valley for wine. New York for their pizza. So since we clearly can’t go wine tasting we did the next best thing. Pizza tasting. There’s nothing more exciting than trying a piece of pizza from all the places in a one block radius. I was stuffed.

What was better than the pizza was this one particular place that was owned by Egyptians. First off, I want to caveat my next commentary by saying that Egyptians are not black. They actually look more of Middle Eastern or Sri Lankan descent. Anyway, this girl had about the biggest butt I had ever encountered besides this girl in the 8th grade named Crystal Thomas whose butt should have been in the Guinness Book of World Records. I am just going on the record of saying that Egyptians have black booties. I don’t know maybe it’s because it’s so close to Africa.

Speaking of Africa, why do we have to walk through the middle passage in the subway to get to our train? It’s the longest walk ever…and it’s hot. Only in the middle passage can you see a midget taking pictures with tourists, a scary angel, buy a new outfit and literature spewing what God says about “The Gays.” Before you lose it that’s not how I am wording it. That’s what the literature says.

Let’s talk about this for a minute though. As I walked by I wondered why it said The Gays and not just maybe homosexuality. I also wondered why there was no literature on The Liars or The Fornicators or any sin. It made me sad because these were Christians and in that moment I understood why people sometimes said Christians were hypocrites or don’t want to go to church. Sometimes we are harder on the “visible” sins. We shun those and detest them but then proceed to tell a white lie and deem it as not as bad. I wonder what would happen if everyone wore labels listing their sins for a day. What would we learn about people? How would we treat people? I am in no way condoning any sin. My very birth made me a sinner. I’m just saying we need ease off judgments and deal with people like they’re people. Alright mama’s done fussing.

And yes I am pondering all of this while still walking and I realize that my shins hurt and are sore. I equate soreness and pain with muscle strength. You know after you work out you’re sore but you eventually become muscular. All I’m saying is that I am about to have the buffest shins ever.

To round out our fun field trip J decides he wants to go this park in the Bronx where hip hop was birthed. So we ride the train and then have to walk across the freeway for five years to get there. It was really far. Especially because I don’t give a crap where hip hop was formed. What personal gain do I get. For all this walking we better stand on the exact spot where hip hop was formed and I better be able to break dance or scratch extremely well afterwards. We never did find the park and had to walk all the way back.

Two random pieces of information to end this blog.

One, I saw a Mexican guy with a grill. I ain’t never seen that in my life and I laughed out loud.

Two, I want to ride the subway late one night, go into an empty car and…shoot a music video. Like just me and a few friends just doing karaoke with no music and making a video. I think it would be the most fun ever and if you come to visit I will be enlisting you for this project. Yes!

Me and J at Bubba Gumps

Aren't these the best glasses ever?

J's hand next to strawberry shortcake dessert. It was massive!!! (read posting below)
My hand next to the biggest dessert ever.

Thursday, August 7, 2008 Don’t Advance Gold Diggerism

Okay today I had about three of the craziest conversations I have ever had in my life. Two were based around gold diggers oddly enough and the other was too crazy or private to mention here. Anyway I had a conversation with this guy I used to date about tactics of a gold digger and how I’m not one. Blah blah blah. And you know what happened? Later on that day some 43 year old man tried to turn me out and advance me in the way of gold diggerism. I was walking down the street and this man tried to hit on me. Being that it was hot and I wasn’t in the mood when he asked I told him the truth. He was way too old. He could’ve been my daddy. Yes that’s exactly what I told him. That didn’t deter him. This dude started asking me if he could take me out to eat and could he pay for me to get a manicure and pedicure. Granted I needed one but I would be using him if I let him. And I thought to myself how desperate are you that you would allow me to use you knowing I already said I wasn’t interested? And if you were too old when I was hungry and had crusty feet you would still be too old after. I don’t get it. Men, please don’t advance gold diggerism. If she is not interested then you doing things is only going to make you broke and her more disinterested.

Yeah so because J loves basketball so much The Mayor had invited us to yet another basketball game. Great! This should be fun. I get to miss the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance for basketball and I ran the risk of The Mayor trying to “pressure” me. Wow. Not looking forward to that.

We went to the basketball game, it was boring and we left. Next…

J had never seen all the lights and dazzle of 42nd street so he and I went downtown. Then we got hungry. So we went to Bubba Gumps to eat. Nothing exciting. But what was exciting was that we ate the biggest Strawberry Shortcake desert I had ever seen in my life. It was so huge that we both took pictures of the dessert with our hand next to it so it would be possible to grasp the fullness of its bigness. Yeah it was pretty good. Except that they used a biscuit instead of that sponge cake. Yeah that wasn’t so great. And that’s pretty much all that happened today.

Wednesday, August 6 The Mayor Makes a Move

The Mayor made his move. I repeat The Mayor made his move. So hanging out in group settings with The Mayor has been cool cuz he is a really nice guy but in the back of my mind there was a nagging suspicion that this wasn’t it. That he may have something more up his sleeve. My hope was that he just wanted to be friends and had no other interest in me. Well my hope was deferred and it makes my heart sick. I have absolutely no interest in The Mayor. At all. Actually after the year I had I have no interest in dating for a long long time. Makes me gag. If I was going to date he wouldn’t even make the waiting list. There is actually only one person who would make that list at this time.

It was so fun while it lasted but I don’t know if I can hang out with him anymore cuz if he tries to make a move he might lose his life. And being that he may potentially be the biggest drugdealer ever I would then lose my life.

This is how this silliness began. Basically in a roundabout punkish way he asked if J was my boyfriend. In my opinion that was the dumbest question to ask since J and I showed no romantic interest in one another. By the way if he was my man why would I have called The Mayor for us to all hang out? Just dumb. You are a 35 year old man. You can’t expect me to believe you thought that. So I said no he wasn’t my boyfriend. You see all this time I thought The Mayor knew I was single and apparently he thought otherwise. Dang. Wish he still thought otherwise. So he goes on to say that he thought I had a boyfriend which is why he hadn’t pressured me to go out to dinner. That word pressure didn’t resonate well with me at all. Negro who do you think you’re going to pressure? I don’t want you! The conversation ended there because I had to go into the subway. To be continued…

Random Pictures from Around the Way