Sunday August 17th

Today didn’t start out quite as I planned. You see I was supposed to be dancing on a float in a parade today, but that didn’t happen. Wait wait let me go back. Generally, I don’t like to do anything work related on Sunday. I mean it’s the Sabbath. The only thing I ever want to do on Sunday is go to church, eat until I feel ten pounds heavier and take a nap. Once I wake up from my nap I want to watch a movie. I love movies. Then at 9:30pm if it wasn’t on hiatus I would watch The Game. Simple day. But today was different. I had convinced myself that missing church to dance in a parade would be cool.

So I got up and got ready. Now don’t get me wrong. I have missed church before for a dance gig here and there. I am not knocking that. It wasn’t that. I just didn’t feel all the way right about missing church this Sunday. But I brushed off the Holy Spirit and walked out the door. Gotta make money right? Wrong!!! Everything isn’t about money.

As I was leaving my mom asked if my roommate had gone to church. I replied yes. She then said I wish she would’ve invited me. I asked if she would have gone and my mom replied that she would’ve. It wasn’t a mean or angry tone but what I heard was a yearning or desire and at that moment I felt my heart break.

If anyone has ever prayed for a relative to get saved or to come back to God then you can understand how I felt. My mother is saved. I was in church when I was in the womb. But like many of us have and do, she took a detour. I’ve been there. But I knew that she yearned to be closer to God and be intimate with Him. So at that moment I felt that longing. Yet and still, I walked out the door.

On the subway I began to read Ezekiel 36 and I just didn’t feel right. Then I knew. Go home and have church and worship with your mom. So I got off the subway going downtown and took the subway going back uptown. Going home.

As I got closer I got excited and overwhelmed.

Never in my life had I worshipped with my mom. That’s huge. It was such a blessing to be able to have the opportunity to do that. It meant that over the years God had heard every prayer I had ever uttered and in his time had answered them. It also made me put my reliance back on God. Work here in New York hasn’t actually manifested itself yet for me and when I don’t have a job or need to make money I go into straight hustle mode. All legal stuff, but I will hustle however to get my bills paid. And thank God I have never experienced what it’s like to not have money for bills. Anyway, my hustle mentality was dueling with my spirit because it said stupid you need that money. I mean it was easy money. A hundred bucks to go dance in a parade for a few hours easy. That’s like $50 bucks an hour. You can’t beat that.

But what example was I showing my mother? What was I telling myself? That I need to rely on me? That making quick and easy money was more important than spending time with him?
So I went home, put on worship music and we worshipped together and prayed together. I don’t know if I have heard anything sweeter than my mother’s voice crying out to God. To hear her pray and say that I had helped bring her closer to God was priceless. To decide that we were going to get up at 6am to pray during the week meant much more than a hundred bucks.