Tuesday, August 26 How to Tell a True New Yorker

There are a few things necessary to looking like a true New Yorker. One, you must attempt death defying stunts like walking through a sea of yellow taxi cabs when you clearly do not have the right of way. I mean the little man isn’t blinking. It’s the big red hand. I guess in New York it’s constantly opposite day and red means go.

Two, never make eye contact with people and if they speak to you be afraid!!!

Three, on the subway always have a book and/or an ipod. If possible read and listen to your music at the same time. Anything to avoid actually holding a meaningful conversation with another human being.

Honestly, there are way too many rules for this place. I can’t remember them all. So I’ve decided to just do me. Well the me I know. She’s developing everyday.

Some of these rules I can adapt to. Most I can’t. I’m way too much of a geek to blend in.
Running into traffic I got. The not talking to people I can’t do. So what I do is seek out the grumpiest person I can and talk to them. One of two things usually happens. Either they speak and crack a smile or I just make them more upset. It’s like my fun little game.

Reading I can do. I’m an avid reader. I also do crosswords. If you don’t have a book you can always find the person who moves their lips when they read. If you pay close attention you can make out 63% of the words and it’s like reading without doing the work.

Now I’ve tried the ipod thing but it doesn’t work. It poses two problems. First, in my mind I’m Beyonce and I can really sing and though I try really hard I can’t listen to music without singing along or lipping the words. My second conundrum is I’m a dancer. So guess what happens? Yes I break out dancing which is what happened to me today.

There I am in the subway waiting for the train. I was on my way to hip hop class so I’m trying to find my groove. So I’m listening to music and at first my head starts bobbing. Then I really feel it and I start tapping my foot. Hold it together girl. Then my eyes close. Oh no here it goes. Before I know it I look like an extra in You Got Served and realize people are staring. This is on top of the crazy clothing I’m wearing because you take a special oath as a dancer to never match. So yeah. I think the ipod should be put away before someone thinks I’m crazy and puts me away. What can I say? I was inspired. That’s not a bad thing.

To hasten, hurry. To work energetically. This is the definition of hustle according to Mr. Webster. Well, according to the 7th Edition Oxford Ebonics Dictionary of Words and Definitions Black People Have Changed to Suit their Culture a hustle is: any work in exchange for goods or money that doesn’t require one to be present at an actual 9-5 job. This hustle can be legal or illegal. Examples: selling drugs; prostitution; selling bootleg DVD’s; selling knock off designer bags, collecting money for the building fund but the building never gets built. Antonyms: a real job.

Ok I’m being facetious. I think in many ways having a hustler mentality works in your favor. I feel I’m a hustler though I err to the legal side. Finding creative ways to make your gifts and talents work for you is wisdom in my opinion. For example, dance classes out here cost a lot of money. I found this studio that is having its grand opening and was looking for volunteers. In exchange you get a month of unlimited dance classes. So for a few hours of my time I save close to $600. Not to mention many of the classes are ballroom and salsa which is something I wanted to begin studying. Look at God. On top of that if the classes are any good I’m going to negotiate with her. I will publicize and work a few hours a week on ways to grow their business in exchange for them letting me continue my training. I’ll put myself on a 90 day probation and if I don’t raise class sizes they can discontinue the agreement. Either way I get free training and help someone in the process.