This week has been such that I just can’t get going. I am so so tired it is unbelievable. So I did the unthinkable. During my lunch I went into my boss’ office and took a nap underneath her desk. Now understand that my boss is out of town three to four days a week in another office in Chicago. She told me that I should feel free to use her office whenever I needed and today I needed to take a nap. I know it was a bold move but I wasn’t getting any work done and needed to perk up. Oh at least I went into an office, closed the door and tried to be discreet. Some of ya’ll fall asleep at your desks. Now what?
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- I know I don’t need another hobby but I started to learn how to knit. Some of the women (and men) at my job stay after work once every two weeks and knit. They invited me and I figured why not? It’s always good to try something new. I actually did quite well. It made me excited. I want to learn how to make a scarf since its cold here. Maybe I’ll finish it before winter is over. You can learn a lot from people
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I really do enjoy cooking. A lot. Something about it is soothing. I try to make new recipes every week and even experiment with making my own stuff. This week I made my own Teriyaki sauce and it came out really really good. I figured I would share this experience with others as I grow and get better.
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So I have referred to nasty foot looker several times and his inability to keep in the friend zone right? Well I had decided not to let that bother me. If that’s how he was gonna be then it was on him if he got his feelings hurt. I had done more than my share to explain the situation to him. So he texted me to ask me how I was doing and to tell me he was sick. I told him that the first step was to stop saying he was sick. He didn’t understand, so I used that opportunity to explain faith to him without shoving God down his throat. I explained to him that a millionaire doesn’t run around saying “I’m poor!” “I’m gonna be broke!” They run around speaking things into existence.
My heart was in the right place but it just didn’t work. He went all the way left with it. He said that meant that all he had to do was keep speaking a relationship into existence and it would happen. I said no because I had free will and that only applied to promises God already gave us like health.
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He wanted to hang out so I was gonna do something like a movie where we didn’t have to talk. Let me say this. He isn’t a bad guy. He is actually a good guy. I just don’t like him. So I explained to him that I would hang out with him but only if he never mentioned liking me ever again. If he did, I wouldn’t talk or hang out with him ever again. I was dead serious. It’s awkward and when someone presses that hard especially when you tell them you don’t like them it appears desperate.
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- We kept talking and he kept pressing so I finally told him that he was trying too hard and he needed to fall back. He keeps approaching this as if there was ever a chance for this to be more than a friendship and it didn’t. He wants something different from me than I want from him and I’m not interested. The conversation didn’t end on the best note and we probably won’t speak again? Now was I mean? I mean I told him from jump and I never gave him any indication that it could be more. Whatever. I don’t care that much.
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- Oh you know what else? I forgot. He wanted to pick me up from my house to go to the movies. I told him it wasn’t happening and I would meet him at the theater. You know what he said? Still don’t trust me? No. I don’t know you and you don’t know me so how could trust be established? I know you’re not crazy. So. That has nothing to do with trusting someone I see. You have trust issues. No I don’t have trust issues. You have not warranted my trust. You keep jumping the gun on a lot of stuff. When people are so quick to jump into things that actually turns people off. (Cricket Cricket). I tried to be nice.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
11/10/08: Green Eggs and Ham
You ever have that aha moment with a guy? That moment that makes you want to slap yourself? That moment where you think you like someone and realize you don’t? The moment you realize that the “special treatment” you thought was being doted on you was actually being allotted to any person that walks into the female bathroom.
I had that moment this weekend. It wasn’t like I liked the guy or was all ga ga over him. He was on the possibility list. The if I decide I may want to date or get to know someone you could be a possibility. He wasn’t a stranger. We are actually pretty good friends from California. I thought that maybe I was on his possibility list too but now I am realizing that either the requirements to get on that list are low or he doesn’t have a list. Not quite sure which one it is.
I had hung out with him in small doses but never for a long period of time. What I realized is that if you think you like someone observe them in many different settings among many different people before you decide.
Here’s what I know. I am not perfect, but who I am is who I am. If I don’t drink over here I will not drink anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them Sam I Am. I am loud, goofy and I am like that everywhere. Whether you like or accept me is up to you and I really don’t care (most times). At least I know I am being me. What I don’t like are chameleons. Someone who changes with the environment. You cuss over here but not over there. You drink here but not over there. Be you. Don’t change because you are around the “saints.” That’s what I observed. Once I saw that I realized that that is not a man who can even be on the possibility list. I don’t know who I am supposed to get to know. It’s like having split personalities. But that’s good. Now we can keep our friendship pure.
I had the opportunity to go to Virginia this weekend and it was so so nice. Sometimes it’s nice to be able to get away from the city. To see trees and foliage. I loved it. It is so beautiful down there. It just made me realize that I don’t want to stay in New York forever. It’s not the place for me and my piece of mind. But I do appreciate what I am learning from being here and what it is bringing out of me.
I do not belong in a club. Every now and then I end up in one and it’ s like why. I usually end up observing or just acting silly. But that is the difficulty of being out of town, with no car, no sense of direction and you’re with other people.
I had that moment this weekend. It wasn’t like I liked the guy or was all ga ga over him. He was on the possibility list. The if I decide I may want to date or get to know someone you could be a possibility. He wasn’t a stranger. We are actually pretty good friends from California. I thought that maybe I was on his possibility list too but now I am realizing that either the requirements to get on that list are low or he doesn’t have a list. Not quite sure which one it is.
I had hung out with him in small doses but never for a long period of time. What I realized is that if you think you like someone observe them in many different settings among many different people before you decide.
Here’s what I know. I am not perfect, but who I am is who I am. If I don’t drink over here I will not drink anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them Sam I Am. I am loud, goofy and I am like that everywhere. Whether you like or accept me is up to you and I really don’t care (most times). At least I know I am being me. What I don’t like are chameleons. Someone who changes with the environment. You cuss over here but not over there. You drink here but not over there. Be you. Don’t change because you are around the “saints.” That’s what I observed. Once I saw that I realized that that is not a man who can even be on the possibility list. I don’t know who I am supposed to get to know. It’s like having split personalities. But that’s good. Now we can keep our friendship pure.
I had the opportunity to go to Virginia this weekend and it was so so nice. Sometimes it’s nice to be able to get away from the city. To see trees and foliage. I loved it. It is so beautiful down there. It just made me realize that I don’t want to stay in New York forever. It’s not the place for me and my piece of mind. But I do appreciate what I am learning from being here and what it is bringing out of me.
I do not belong in a club. Every now and then I end up in one and it’ s like why. I usually end up observing or just acting silly. But that is the difficulty of being out of town, with no car, no sense of direction and you’re with other people.
Nov 8: Adventures in DC
I am making my first trek in four years to DC and I am really excited. It will be nice to get out the city and see some new surroundings. What I love is the close proximity in which states reside in the southeast. So in four hours time I will find myself in a completely different state. I wonder what adventure it holds for me.
I found that I didn’t even need to leave the state of New York to encounter the first adventure. I merely needed to step onto the bus that would be transporting me. It stank. It smelt like doo doo balls and fatback. It was really gross. To add insult to injury I usually pick up on every noise on a bus, plane, etc. so the lady smacking her gum in the seat in front of me was really starting to piss me off. Then I had to pee but didn’t want to risk catching Hepatitis C on the disgusting toilet located on the bus.
Riddle me this. If you knew that you were having guests come from out of town you would make sure that you were there to pick them up in a timely manner right? No not my friend. He wanted to make sure this trip was as pleasant as possible by being more than an hour away when my bus arrived. Did I mention that he was in another state? Sure the states are close together so this doesn’t really matter but I thought it added a little drama. I had to talk to Jesus so I wouldn’t have an attitude about it. Then I brushed it off and decided that as his punishment he would be paying for everything this weekend. My meals, entertainment, souvenirs, whatever. I’m still very excited about this trip.
I found that I didn’t even need to leave the state of New York to encounter the first adventure. I merely needed to step onto the bus that would be transporting me. It stank. It smelt like doo doo balls and fatback. It was really gross. To add insult to injury I usually pick up on every noise on a bus, plane, etc. so the lady smacking her gum in the seat in front of me was really starting to piss me off. Then I had to pee but didn’t want to risk catching Hepatitis C on the disgusting toilet located on the bus.
Riddle me this. If you knew that you were having guests come from out of town you would make sure that you were there to pick them up in a timely manner right? No not my friend. He wanted to make sure this trip was as pleasant as possible by being more than an hour away when my bus arrived. Did I mention that he was in another state? Sure the states are close together so this doesn’t really matter but I thought it added a little drama. I had to talk to Jesus so I wouldn’t have an attitude about it. Then I brushed it off and decided that as his punishment he would be paying for everything this weekend. My meals, entertainment, souvenirs, whatever. I’m still very excited about this trip.
11/6/08: All the Above
I have recently stepped into the world of business and you know what I realized? People lie, cheat and just act dumb. As a young woman I am learning first hand that people don’t take you seriously, they think they’re smarter than you and will try to get over on you for their own gain.
I had one of the most annoying, irritating and stupid experiences of my life today. I was meeting with a potential client who I realized early on wasn’t interested in getting help more than he was interested in me. There are no words to even describe this man and why he thought he ever had a chance to go out on a date with me. Some things are deal breakers. I already mentioned height. I also cannot get over age. If you are 40 and over don’t even talk to me. My mind naturally says “You should be dating my mom. You should be dating my mom.” Thinking of dating someone the same age as my parents makes my stomach sick and is giving me a headache.
First off he brought me a gift. What the heck? How awkward. He bought me a cake. I don’t even like cake that much, especially not the type he presented. Then throughout the meeting he just kept staring at me. He kept interrupting to ask me if I would go out with him. I continued to tell him no. He would ask “why not? Am I too old? Too fat? Not good looking enough?” Yes! Yes! All of the above but if I said that I would be a jerk. I finally ended the meeting and told him that I wouldn’t work with him because he had crossed the line. He left the building but lingered outside trying to wait for me. He said he wanted to walk me home. Are you crazy? No. So I pretended to be on my cell phone until he left. He kept banging on the window trying to get my attention. I ignored him. He finally left, but I walked a different route home as to ensure he wasn’t following me. I kept thinking he would jump out of a bush somewhere. Crazy man. It was a shame too. He really needed help, but oh well. If he can’t retire that’s not on me. I tried to help him.
I promise since I have been in New York I have not met one decent datable man.
I really think this is purposely. God must want me to focus on other things. He is making it really easy when I keep running into D.A.N.’s
I had one of the most annoying, irritating and stupid experiences of my life today. I was meeting with a potential client who I realized early on wasn’t interested in getting help more than he was interested in me. There are no words to even describe this man and why he thought he ever had a chance to go out on a date with me. Some things are deal breakers. I already mentioned height. I also cannot get over age. If you are 40 and over don’t even talk to me. My mind naturally says “You should be dating my mom. You should be dating my mom.” Thinking of dating someone the same age as my parents makes my stomach sick and is giving me a headache.
First off he brought me a gift. What the heck? How awkward. He bought me a cake. I don’t even like cake that much, especially not the type he presented. Then throughout the meeting he just kept staring at me. He kept interrupting to ask me if I would go out with him. I continued to tell him no. He would ask “why not? Am I too old? Too fat? Not good looking enough?” Yes! Yes! All of the above but if I said that I would be a jerk. I finally ended the meeting and told him that I wouldn’t work with him because he had crossed the line. He left the building but lingered outside trying to wait for me. He said he wanted to walk me home. Are you crazy? No. So I pretended to be on my cell phone until he left. He kept banging on the window trying to get my attention. I ignored him. He finally left, but I walked a different route home as to ensure he wasn’t following me. I kept thinking he would jump out of a bush somewhere. Crazy man. It was a shame too. He really needed help, but oh well. If he can’t retire that’s not on me. I tried to help him.
I promise since I have been in New York I have not met one decent datable man.
I really think this is purposely. God must want me to focus on other things. He is making it really easy when I keep running into D.A.N.’s
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