I had a job interview today. I wasn’t necessarily looking for a job. I had put my resume into cyberspace but hadn’t heard anything. Then this lady contacted me and we played phone tag for two weeks. So yeah I went to this interview to work as an assistant at a publishing company. It paid really well so we will see how it goes. One of the interviewers had the same last name as me so maybe that’s a good thing. Interviews are tough because you can never tell by their faces if you’re doing a good job or not. They also told me that they had been interviewing tons of people over the past few months and had found no one. The good thing for me was that if I didn’t get the job at least I had a long term temp position so I wasn’t worried. I also had savings to last me some months so I’ll let God head this one up.
Later I got a call from that movie I auditioned for. I really want the part but at this point I am beginning to realize I have no control over the plans for my life. Let me rephrase that. I have control but I want to really allow God to run things. So we shall see.
Did you guys know I am a complete and utter control freak? I mean those close to me know that but sometimes I forget. Then that control thing rears its head in the most random places. Today it happened at salsa class.
Let me tell you something, if you want to learn about submission take a salsa class. I realize God will use anything to get his point across. Sometimes being knowledgeable in a certain area works against you. It is almost better to be ignorant. It makes you a better student because you have a blank slate. I had three things working against me as I walked into salsa class. One, I danced so it made me think I knew more than the teacher. Ha ha. Two, I had learned “fake” salsa which had developed some wrong habits in me that would be difficult to unlearn. Three, I am a control freak. So I’m in class and I can learn rather quickly and I do well when I can dance alone. As soon as I have to dance with a partner it’s a mess. See in salsa the man leads and the woman follows. You can’t have two leaders or it creates disorder and a mess. So when I can lead because I am dancing by myself I look great. But I would find that I couldn’t relax when I had to rely on my partner to lead me. I was tense and anticipating his every next move.
It wasn’t until I left that I realized that this mirrored my relationship with the Lord. He was supposed to lead and I was to submit but I wouldn’t let go of control. If I ever wanted to relax and ease into the dance of my life I was going to have to let God lead me. I don’t do that on purpose. It’s just difficult but I recognize this and am working on it. Pray for me ya’ll.
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1 comment:
Wow. That'll preach.
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