There are often those situations that come in and are a test from God about the level of faith you truly have. On April 10, 2009 my poppa finally got to meet God face to face. I was right by his hospital bed holding his hand. He didn’t struggle or move. He just went peacefully in his sleep. There is a huge piece of me that can’t mourn his death. He lived a good life and served as an example of faith on a daily basis. My poppa had cancer for 8 years. 8 years. That’s a long time to live with a terminal disease. Up until a year ago he still went out and golfed every now and then. He even got recognized by the Cancer Center of America for being a cancer survivor. I have to think that acknowledgement was not that of his body that was slowly giving way to this illness but that of his spirit that was a survivor. It still is a survivor.
That was all because of my poppa’s faith. Even in illness he never confessed that he was sick. To confess means to acknowledge one’s belief in something. Once something comes out of your mouth whether you mean it or not you have acknowledged belief in it. That is why our words are so important.
James 3:3-5 states: “When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us,
we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and
are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot
wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.
Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a
world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole
course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
When we confess something our body gets in line with what we say. We like to say that our actions control what we do but where do our actions come from? Our thoughts. Where does what we confess come from? Our thoughts. Until we get our thoughts in order, our mouths will never confess the right things but that’s a whole other story. When we don’t speak the right things into the atmosphere our very being gets corrupted.
I know someone is thinking, “Well your poppa confessed the right things and he still died.” That’s very true. He did. But I have to believe it was his time to go. Death is imminent for us all. No one’s confession can keep them from dying. But what if his confessions were the reason why he lived a little longer? His confession let him see his first great grandchild born. It allowed him to share a little more wisdom. There was so much that he didn’t miss because of his confession. It reminds me of Daniel 3 where when the three Hebrew boys were facing death by furnace for not bowing to the king said this,
“O, Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we
are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he
will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O
king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
Their faith and confession changed the outcome of the decree of the king. But if they had lacked faith or confessed their deaths, you better believe we would’ve had some burnt up Hebrew boys and the entire book of Daniel would read much different.
I am becoming much better at tailoring what I say. It can be difficult at times but I am definitely seeing the results. Daniel and the Hebrew boys left a legacy of faith. My poppa left a legacy of faith. What legacy will you leave?
On a lighter note, I wonder what my poppa’s first question to God was when he got to heaven. I know I have a ton of questions for Him.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Favor ain't fair
So I knew my big mouth would come in handy one day. I have this habit of just pretty much saying whatever I feel. Sometimes it works in my favor. Other times it doesn’t. What I am about to write about seems so unreal to me. It’s purely a mixture of personality, correct positioning and favor from God. Some would call it luck but I don’t believe in luck. If it did exist I wouldn’t want to rely on it anyway.
I was asked to dance in a piece at a reputable university for their black history month program. Since it was for a friend I figured why not. A week into rehearsals another dancer joined us. She was really nice and we hit it off. Come to find out she was the Director of Admissions at the university. At the time that meant nothing to me.
The day we were going to minister I went into her office to get her. She was ecstatic because she had given away scholarships.
So I said, “If you were giving away scholarships you should’ve gave me one.”
She said, “Do you want to go here?”
I said, “If you’re going to give me a scholarship.”
“I’ll tell you what. The deadline is July 15th (my birthday). If you can get your application in by then you’re in. I don’t care what your grades are. If you can get your application in in the next two weeks, I’ll give you a scholarship.”
I pondered this notion. Nowhere in my five year plan did school fit, especially seminary. What was I supposed to do with that degree? Did I really want to take this opportunity away from someone else who dreamed of going here when I had literally stepped into it? I called Pastor Dre to get her feedback and she said if the only thing keeping me from going to school was some paperwork then I should fill it out and see what happens.
Did I mention that this all happened three days before I was leaving to go to California? How convenient it would be to literally walk on campus to get my recommendations and transcripts without having to get them sent? God is so awesome!
I was asked to dance in a piece at a reputable university for their black history month program. Since it was for a friend I figured why not. A week into rehearsals another dancer joined us. She was really nice and we hit it off. Come to find out she was the Director of Admissions at the university. At the time that meant nothing to me.
The day we were going to minister I went into her office to get her. She was ecstatic because she had given away scholarships.
So I said, “If you were giving away scholarships you should’ve gave me one.”
She said, “Do you want to go here?”
I said, “If you’re going to give me a scholarship.”
“I’ll tell you what. The deadline is July 15th (my birthday). If you can get your application in by then you’re in. I don’t care what your grades are. If you can get your application in in the next two weeks, I’ll give you a scholarship.”
I pondered this notion. Nowhere in my five year plan did school fit, especially seminary. What was I supposed to do with that degree? Did I really want to take this opportunity away from someone else who dreamed of going here when I had literally stepped into it? I called Pastor Dre to get her feedback and she said if the only thing keeping me from going to school was some paperwork then I should fill it out and see what happens.
Did I mention that this all happened three days before I was leaving to go to California? How convenient it would be to literally walk on campus to get my recommendations and transcripts without having to get them sent? God is so awesome!
This ain't Chicken Little
Everyone is running around acting like Chicken Little yelling the sky is falling. Yes the economy isn’t the greatest but mass hysteria and pessimism sure as heck isn’t going to help. I’ve started claiming that I’m not in a recession. Though everyone else is ascribing to that crap I refuse to. If we act the same way the world does when problems hit then how are we a light or an example? I choose to be in a state of gratefulness while carefully planning my next steps.
Greatest Hits
Just one question plagues me today. How can you have a greatest cd’s hit when you only have 3 cd’s? This is clearly a ploy to make money. You need longevity to do this. You need more than 3 number one hits. Come on people. Holler back about anyone who put out a greatest hit album that shouldn’t have.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Attack of the rat dog
My experience with rats in New York hasn’t been too bad. I haven’t seen any besides in the train station which makes perfect sense. That is perfectly fine with me. I was lying in bed the other night and I kept hearing something run back and forth in the apartment upstairs. I’m getting irritated because it’s two in the morning and their dog should not be running around like that so late. Now it takes a lot for me to complain about a neighbor but I was fed up. It seems like this dog gets active whenever I am ready to go to bed. I got out of bed, told Jaime I would be back and went upstairs. I knocked on the door and kindly asked them if they could keep the noise down. She apologized and said that they had a mouse they were trying to catch. I walked away a little disturbed. Disturbed because all this time I thought they had a dog and that was a mouse I was hearing and for me to mistake it for a much larger animal means it had to be large. Please catch that thing and don’t let it come anywhere near our apartment.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Go Away!!!
At what point in the process can I stop being nice? Like at what point did Jesus’ blood boil and he turned over tables in the temple? What was his thinking pattern? Did He think about it first? I’m just saying Nasty Foot Looker isn’t getting the point. He sent me a text saying that I looked like Sandra Bullock. So what you’re telling me is I look like a 30 something white woman? Now don’t get me wrong. I love her body of work and enjoy watching her movies but I look nothing like her. Dude now you’re reaching.
Go Away Nasty Foot Looker
I think that it is true that one guy helps you get over another guy. Now I am not saying that is a particularly great way to heal but it does help. The doctor’s interest in me regardless of how real or lasting it is makes me feel better about myself. Maybe all guys aren’t the scum of the earth.
What I am learning is that anyone you come into contact with can teach you things that allow you to grow as an individual. For instance, I know that I have a control issue. I want to handle things when I want and the way that I want all the time. Interestingly enough God used my encounters with the doctor to reveal this to me in more detail.
There would be moments when we would be on the phone and it would be dead quiet. That totally irked me. I hate silence. So instead of letting it be quiet I would ask a question. Most people know that a tactic for gaining control of a conversation is to ask questions. Whoever is asking questions is in control because the other person is always answering. The minute the tables turn you have lost control of the conversation. I wasn’t intentionally using this as a means to gain control. I just couldn’t stand the silence. This is what God revealed to me.
1) Even when I spend time with the Lord I am guilty of the same thing. I can’t just be still in his presence. I have to have music on or be reading the word or be active. I never just sit in the silence and wait for Him.
2) That I need to not always try to control everything. Next time I talk to him I need to let it be silent when it’s silent. Wait for him to ask a question. It could be that it takes him longer to gather his thoughts. The conversation will flow much better if I do this.
The next time we talked I implemented this and it worked wonderfully.
Duh duh duh duh duh. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. It is time for another adventure with the nasty foot looker.
Here is how the conversation went…
“I miss you,” he says. Insert eye roll here since we never talk and I haven’t hung out with you in months.
He asks, “Can friends watch movies together?”
I reply, “Yes.”
So he asks, “Can I come over and watch movies at your house?”
“No.” I wanted to say something much worse but restrained myself.
“You don’t trust me?”
“Heck no. What have you done to warrant trust? I don’t know you and you don’t know me.”
“Do you consider us friends?”
“Uh no.”
“Well then what are we?”
“Associates.”
“That makes me feel cheap.” Sidenote: Dude are you serious? You’re a man. I need you not to be that in touch with your emotions. That makes you feel cheap? It’s not like I hung out with you and left money on the nightstand after. Hanging out with someone has a price. I don’t even want to hang out with you which means there is no price. You can’t label something with no price as cheap. Back to the story.
“I apologize if you feel that way. That was not my intention but you need to fall back. You’re making me uncomfortable.”
“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m lost in the woods trying to find the right path to your friendship.” You have got to be kidding me. What did you watch The Notebook before you called me with this? Sheesh. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
What I am learning is that anyone you come into contact with can teach you things that allow you to grow as an individual. For instance, I know that I have a control issue. I want to handle things when I want and the way that I want all the time. Interestingly enough God used my encounters with the doctor to reveal this to me in more detail.
There would be moments when we would be on the phone and it would be dead quiet. That totally irked me. I hate silence. So instead of letting it be quiet I would ask a question. Most people know that a tactic for gaining control of a conversation is to ask questions. Whoever is asking questions is in control because the other person is always answering. The minute the tables turn you have lost control of the conversation. I wasn’t intentionally using this as a means to gain control. I just couldn’t stand the silence. This is what God revealed to me.
1) Even when I spend time with the Lord I am guilty of the same thing. I can’t just be still in his presence. I have to have music on or be reading the word or be active. I never just sit in the silence and wait for Him.
2) That I need to not always try to control everything. Next time I talk to him I need to let it be silent when it’s silent. Wait for him to ask a question. It could be that it takes him longer to gather his thoughts. The conversation will flow much better if I do this.
The next time we talked I implemented this and it worked wonderfully.
Duh duh duh duh duh. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. It is time for another adventure with the nasty foot looker.
Here is how the conversation went…
“I miss you,” he says. Insert eye roll here since we never talk and I haven’t hung out with you in months.
He asks, “Can friends watch movies together?”
I reply, “Yes.”
So he asks, “Can I come over and watch movies at your house?”
“No.” I wanted to say something much worse but restrained myself.
“You don’t trust me?”
“Heck no. What have you done to warrant trust? I don’t know you and you don’t know me.”
“Do you consider us friends?”
“Uh no.”
“Well then what are we?”
“Associates.”
“That makes me feel cheap.” Sidenote: Dude are you serious? You’re a man. I need you not to be that in touch with your emotions. That makes you feel cheap? It’s not like I hung out with you and left money on the nightstand after. Hanging out with someone has a price. I don’t even want to hang out with you which means there is no price. You can’t label something with no price as cheap. Back to the story.
“I apologize if you feel that way. That was not my intention but you need to fall back. You’re making me uncomfortable.”
“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m lost in the woods trying to find the right path to your friendship.” You have got to be kidding me. What did you watch The Notebook before you called me with this? Sheesh. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Inauguration Adventures (7 months late)
So TT is in town visiting and of course all of New York wants to act up. We walk into the subway and there is this dude laid out across several seats like this is his bedroom. To make it worse he has his shoes off neatly tucked under the seats. I just wonder what goes through people’s minds. Like do you really care that little about the fact that you’re inconveniencing anyone who would like to sit down? Now if I woke you up and asked you to scoot the heck over I bet you’d be utterly disgusted at me for disturbing your sleep. I just don’t know about people.
So we are off to DC for Inauguration and I am super excited about it. It should be fun. Even though we have no transportation, am unsure of where we will be sleeping we have nothing to fear. We have TT’s interactive map. Its color coded with a clear visual of the most comfy benches to sleep on. What she failed to mention is that she booked us on a China bus to get there. These are like low end modes of transportation. The bus drivers speak no English, your seat isn’t guaranteed and there are absolutely no amenities. I can’t be mad at her. She didn’t know.
At 7am we are on this bus still wiping boogers out of our eyes when a drunk Rastafarian whose locks smell decides to sit right behind us. Well maybe they didn’t smell but he certainly did. I mean who is drunk at 7am? I know who…an alcoholic. You don’t need to be going to Inauguration. You need to be in an AA meeting admitting that you have a problem. The worse part about people who get drunk is that alcohol on the breath stinks and when you fall asleep you snore like crazy. This man was guilty of both. You ever have those moments where you just want to lash out and punch someone in the face? That’s what I wanted to do. There are certain things that drive me nuts. The sound of Styrofoam, someone snoring and when people scratch their throat and they sound like a frog.
He snored his way through our first stop in New Jersey where people going to Philly got off. The bus driver makes an announcement, people exit and we continue on our journey. Maybe 30 minutes later this dude wakes up and realizes he isn’t in Kansas anymore. You see he was supposed to get off in Jersey. We are in like Delaware at this point.
So estupido village idiot decides it’s a smart idea to threaten and yell at the Chinese bus driver who can’t speak English and doesn’t even realize he is being insulted. He begins to demand that the bus driver pulls over immediately and let him off. That’s smart. Drop him off in the middle of nowhere and he’ll figure out how to get home. He gets the bus driver so upset that he eventually pulls over. So now he has inconvenienced the whole bus because he decided to drown his woes about his daddy leaving him at four in a bottle of whiskey. Hey guy, my dad left too but you don’t see me acting all wacky…most days. Eventually some other men go outside because he is in the bus driver’s face, they call another bus and that bus takes him to wherever he needs to go. This has already shaped up to be an interesting trip.
That’s the story of the guy sitting behind us. This doesn’t include the guy eating gross smelling food to my left or the overly friendly guy in front of us. I was nice to him because I wanted to read his newspaper. He was an older Indian guy (from India not Native American) and he seemed harmless. Too bad he decided that he wanted to hang out with us and be our tour guide once we arrived in DC. What were we supposed to do? We couldn’t say scram. We did what any mature adults would do. When we got in the subway station filled with a bazillion people we ran the other direction when he wasn’t looking hoping he didn’t see us.
It’s just amazing to even have the opportunity to be here. I wasn’t alive for the civil rights movement or the march on Washington, but I’m here for this. I’m excited that when I’m 80 I will be able to tell my grandkids I watched the first Black president be inaugurated on a jumbo screen in DC. Ha ha.
But the first order of business is to…attend a house party. It wasn’t really a party. It was a whole bunch of people chilling in the house playing cards, watching the game and laughing. One guy in particular caught my fancy. Not romantically but his persona was funny. He looked straight up white but sounded and acted like what some would characterize as black. That wasn’t even the funny part. It just added to the humor. He had this I’m so mysterious and different you can’t figure me out and that makes me eclectic and special in some sort of way persona he was attempting to exude. No. That makes you a black guy (turns out he was black) who looks white who uses that along with other things to define you as different and therefore a more rare breed. Who cares?
A few of us went to eat and of course I got sleepy. So I fell asleep on the couch. Some tried to make fun of me for that but I am known for falling asleep anywhere. When I’m tired it’s a wrap. I’ve fallen asleep at several live concerts, Denny’s, in the club, etc. That doesn’t matter. The most important thing is whether or not my mouth was open when I was sleep.
So we are off to DC for Inauguration and I am super excited about it. It should be fun. Even though we have no transportation, am unsure of where we will be sleeping we have nothing to fear. We have TT’s interactive map. Its color coded with a clear visual of the most comfy benches to sleep on. What she failed to mention is that she booked us on a China bus to get there. These are like low end modes of transportation. The bus drivers speak no English, your seat isn’t guaranteed and there are absolutely no amenities. I can’t be mad at her. She didn’t know.
At 7am we are on this bus still wiping boogers out of our eyes when a drunk Rastafarian whose locks smell decides to sit right behind us. Well maybe they didn’t smell but he certainly did. I mean who is drunk at 7am? I know who…an alcoholic. You don’t need to be going to Inauguration. You need to be in an AA meeting admitting that you have a problem. The worse part about people who get drunk is that alcohol on the breath stinks and when you fall asleep you snore like crazy. This man was guilty of both. You ever have those moments where you just want to lash out and punch someone in the face? That’s what I wanted to do. There are certain things that drive me nuts. The sound of Styrofoam, someone snoring and when people scratch their throat and they sound like a frog.
He snored his way through our first stop in New Jersey where people going to Philly got off. The bus driver makes an announcement, people exit and we continue on our journey. Maybe 30 minutes later this dude wakes up and realizes he isn’t in Kansas anymore. You see he was supposed to get off in Jersey. We are in like Delaware at this point.
So estupido village idiot decides it’s a smart idea to threaten and yell at the Chinese bus driver who can’t speak English and doesn’t even realize he is being insulted. He begins to demand that the bus driver pulls over immediately and let him off. That’s smart. Drop him off in the middle of nowhere and he’ll figure out how to get home. He gets the bus driver so upset that he eventually pulls over. So now he has inconvenienced the whole bus because he decided to drown his woes about his daddy leaving him at four in a bottle of whiskey. Hey guy, my dad left too but you don’t see me acting all wacky…most days. Eventually some other men go outside because he is in the bus driver’s face, they call another bus and that bus takes him to wherever he needs to go. This has already shaped up to be an interesting trip.
That’s the story of the guy sitting behind us. This doesn’t include the guy eating gross smelling food to my left or the overly friendly guy in front of us. I was nice to him because I wanted to read his newspaper. He was an older Indian guy (from India not Native American) and he seemed harmless. Too bad he decided that he wanted to hang out with us and be our tour guide once we arrived in DC. What were we supposed to do? We couldn’t say scram. We did what any mature adults would do. When we got in the subway station filled with a bazillion people we ran the other direction when he wasn’t looking hoping he didn’t see us.
It’s just amazing to even have the opportunity to be here. I wasn’t alive for the civil rights movement or the march on Washington, but I’m here for this. I’m excited that when I’m 80 I will be able to tell my grandkids I watched the first Black president be inaugurated on a jumbo screen in DC. Ha ha.
But the first order of business is to…attend a house party. It wasn’t really a party. It was a whole bunch of people chilling in the house playing cards, watching the game and laughing. One guy in particular caught my fancy. Not romantically but his persona was funny. He looked straight up white but sounded and acted like what some would characterize as black. That wasn’t even the funny part. It just added to the humor. He had this I’m so mysterious and different you can’t figure me out and that makes me eclectic and special in some sort of way persona he was attempting to exude. No. That makes you a black guy (turns out he was black) who looks white who uses that along with other things to define you as different and therefore a more rare breed. Who cares?
A few of us went to eat and of course I got sleepy. So I fell asleep on the couch. Some tried to make fun of me for that but I am known for falling asleep anywhere. When I’m tired it’s a wrap. I’ve fallen asleep at several live concerts, Denny’s, in the club, etc. That doesn’t matter. The most important thing is whether or not my mouth was open when I was sleep.
Begging 101
Ok so this is something I just don’t understand. If you’re going to beg for money, you should look like you don’t have any right? This woman had the nerve to come on to the subway begging for money in a fur coat. A fur coat! I’m not talking about a jacked up chinchilla coat. I am talking about a nice coat. Her hair was done and she didn’t look like she needed anything. She had the nerve to say she needed the money for her three kids. Well where are they? If you want me to give you money for some kids shouldn’t you actually have some with you? Absolutely ridiculous.
Don't You Dare Spare the Rod
One thing that irks me are bad kids. Maybe I won’t understand until I’m a mother because I know I don’t now. I know kids act out at times but they’re also very smart. They learn at a young age right and wrong. I’ve see Look Who’s Talking. Now I’m not saying babies talk to one another in a sense. Rather I am suggesting that their clarity and understanding of thing surpasses what we give them credit for. That’s why I don’t do baby talk with them. No goo goo ga ga over here. You know exactly what I am saying and probably think I look crazy leaning over you all in your face making funny noises.
Some would be led to believe that I can’t stand kids. That’s not the case. I just have a special bond with children. In a sense I am not that nurturing person. I am more of the bully older sister that you love but can’t stand. I express my love to the kids I’m closest to by picking on them and that type of stuff. But they know that I love them and know that if they ask me for anything within reason and in my ability then I will do it. I can be hard on them but their parents trust me. I have kids whose parents won’t let them go somewhere if I don’t go with them, or give me keys to their house to name a few. I especially have a heart for teenagers. They understand my off humor and we naturally click. That’s probably why I did so well as a counselor at the boy’s home I worked at.
One of the kids I have known for years sent me an email. I have watched him grow from a puny little adolescent to a respectable young man. Over the years my role was that of a big sister. I picked on him a lot and offered my opinion or advice when he asked. I was tough at times, but he needed it. I didn’t think it really affected him until I got that email. Now I won’t share it but I was in tears. He was basically thanking me for helping to shape him into the man he had become and for never giving up on him and I thought that was really cool. It let me know that the way God made me and how I deal with people is something from God and it is of value in their lives.
So I must have been still pondering this whole email when I walked into someone else’s apartment by mistake today. I got on the elevator and pressed 5. Since no one else was in the elevator with me I figured it would stop on five. So I’m totally not paying attention and the elevator opens. I get off and see my apartment door is cracked and walk in. Not until I am halfway down the hallway of the apartment do I realize I don’t live here. So how do we rectify this? Clearly at the end of the hall I see a group of Africans with their backs turned to me. So I slowly start stepping backwards until I am out of the apartment and frantically press the elevator button. How embarrassing. How did I get pass the door and realize there was no wreath or that the walls were a different color? This could’ve gone really bad. How do you explain this? “Sorry I thought this was my apartment.” Yeah and have a bunch of people chasing after me with sticks and pans. Awkward.
That’s why I say I’m a smart blonde. Now do I really think blondes are dumb? No I don’t. It’s a stereotype. Our society is built on them and rather than getting into this deep philosophical debate about it I just rather joke about them. I just really don’t care that much. Yes I like fried chicken even though I don’t eat it much and have only made it once. I love watermelon. Stereotypes that are true about me. But I also don’t care about being in water because my hair will nap up. I swim pretty decently. I do think OJ did it and so on and so forth. Anyway I feel I am knowledgeable about many things but I do the dumbest stuff and say the dumbest stuff. It’s what makes me me and I don’t care.
Some would be led to believe that I can’t stand kids. That’s not the case. I just have a special bond with children. In a sense I am not that nurturing person. I am more of the bully older sister that you love but can’t stand. I express my love to the kids I’m closest to by picking on them and that type of stuff. But they know that I love them and know that if they ask me for anything within reason and in my ability then I will do it. I can be hard on them but their parents trust me. I have kids whose parents won’t let them go somewhere if I don’t go with them, or give me keys to their house to name a few. I especially have a heart for teenagers. They understand my off humor and we naturally click. That’s probably why I did so well as a counselor at the boy’s home I worked at.
One of the kids I have known for years sent me an email. I have watched him grow from a puny little adolescent to a respectable young man. Over the years my role was that of a big sister. I picked on him a lot and offered my opinion or advice when he asked. I was tough at times, but he needed it. I didn’t think it really affected him until I got that email. Now I won’t share it but I was in tears. He was basically thanking me for helping to shape him into the man he had become and for never giving up on him and I thought that was really cool. It let me know that the way God made me and how I deal with people is something from God and it is of value in their lives.
So I must have been still pondering this whole email when I walked into someone else’s apartment by mistake today. I got on the elevator and pressed 5. Since no one else was in the elevator with me I figured it would stop on five. So I’m totally not paying attention and the elevator opens. I get off and see my apartment door is cracked and walk in. Not until I am halfway down the hallway of the apartment do I realize I don’t live here. So how do we rectify this? Clearly at the end of the hall I see a group of Africans with their backs turned to me. So I slowly start stepping backwards until I am out of the apartment and frantically press the elevator button. How embarrassing. How did I get pass the door and realize there was no wreath or that the walls were a different color? This could’ve gone really bad. How do you explain this? “Sorry I thought this was my apartment.” Yeah and have a bunch of people chasing after me with sticks and pans. Awkward.
That’s why I say I’m a smart blonde. Now do I really think blondes are dumb? No I don’t. It’s a stereotype. Our society is built on them and rather than getting into this deep philosophical debate about it I just rather joke about them. I just really don’t care that much. Yes I like fried chicken even though I don’t eat it much and have only made it once. I love watermelon. Stereotypes that are true about me. But I also don’t care about being in water because my hair will nap up. I swim pretty decently. I do think OJ did it and so on and so forth. Anyway I feel I am knowledgeable about many things but I do the dumbest stuff and say the dumbest stuff. It’s what makes me me and I don’t care.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Delayed Growth
My mom hates New York. She hasn’t been happy since she has been here and has made the decision to move back to Georgia. The feeling for me is bittersweet. I want her to be happy but I had gotten used to seeing her everyday. I know that everything is going according to God’s plan so I will let Him work out the rest.
I broke my retainer. I’m probably the only person in America who wears her retainer faithfully and now I’ve broken it. They cost $200 to replace, but I can’t even be mad right now. I can’t be mad because God always looks out for me. You see I have a flex spending account through my job so the money was there to replace my retainer before I turned into snaggle tooth again.
At this stage in my life I feel like the Chinese bamboo tree. You see this tree when planted, watered and nurtured doesn’t grow more than in inch in its first entire growing season. The second season the tree still doesn’t sprout. This occurs for four years. In the fifth year the tree sprouts to be more than 90 feet! You see on the outside it seems like not much is changing though I am doing all that I know to be a better person, to grow spiritually, to reach my goals and dreams, etc. On the outside I look the same. But I know that my year five is coming. It’s going to look like a lot of things happened overnight but I know that it was the patience and persistence in the first four years that made it happen.
So after all that hoopla and Dr Phil moments with my father he has yet to contact me. I have to admit that it hurts me. I wanted to believe that things would be different. It’s hard because there is a certain button you can’t turn off when it comes to parents. I think deep down you always want things to go right with them and be right with them. I don’t think you ever lose that and it kind of sucks.
You know what else sucks? Healing! All I can liken it to is when you fall down and scrape your knee. As part of the healing the wound must develop a scab. It itches and you want to pick at it, but if you do that then the scab never heals. It just keeps bleeding and the process begins again. I am working so hard not to pick at my scabs. It’s easier to just mess with my scab when I know the other option is waiting for it to heal. Waiting sucks too.
I broke my retainer. I’m probably the only person in America who wears her retainer faithfully and now I’ve broken it. They cost $200 to replace, but I can’t even be mad right now. I can’t be mad because God always looks out for me. You see I have a flex spending account through my job so the money was there to replace my retainer before I turned into snaggle tooth again.
At this stage in my life I feel like the Chinese bamboo tree. You see this tree when planted, watered and nurtured doesn’t grow more than in inch in its first entire growing season. The second season the tree still doesn’t sprout. This occurs for four years. In the fifth year the tree sprouts to be more than 90 feet! You see on the outside it seems like not much is changing though I am doing all that I know to be a better person, to grow spiritually, to reach my goals and dreams, etc. On the outside I look the same. But I know that my year five is coming. It’s going to look like a lot of things happened overnight but I know that it was the patience and persistence in the first four years that made it happen.
So after all that hoopla and Dr Phil moments with my father he has yet to contact me. I have to admit that it hurts me. I wanted to believe that things would be different. It’s hard because there is a certain button you can’t turn off when it comes to parents. I think deep down you always want things to go right with them and be right with them. I don’t think you ever lose that and it kind of sucks.
You know what else sucks? Healing! All I can liken it to is when you fall down and scrape your knee. As part of the healing the wound must develop a scab. It itches and you want to pick at it, but if you do that then the scab never heals. It just keeps bleeding and the process begins again. I am working so hard not to pick at my scabs. It’s easier to just mess with my scab when I know the other option is waiting for it to heal. Waiting sucks too.
Puberty: Round 2
My face looks like a flipping science experiment. I am not quite sure what happened but I feel like an adolescent teen that is experiencing puberty. I look in the mirror and think I have the body of a 25 year old but the face of a 13 year old. I just can’t pinpoint what the heck happened. I went to the dermatologist a few weeks back and he prescribed some medication that was supposed to help. Instead it made it worse. What the heck did I give you a co-pay for if you weren’t going to fix the problem? This is ridiculous.
Ice Skating Lesson
Man I feel like the year has already started off great. I am just having fun and am determined to continue to enjoy my life.
Tonight I went ice skating in Central Park and as I skated under the clear sky I thought, “How many people get to do this?” I am living a good life. I get to experience things I never have. While the world seems a lot bigger it also seems a lot smaller. There is so much to be done and to see.
It made me remember things I only whispered to myself that God still heard. I remember thinking how cool it would be to live in New York for a year and study dance and do something new. The problem was I was never bold enough to do something like that and didn’t think it would ever happen. I also remember going on a trip to New York and staring at the Ailey studio and telling God to, “Just leave me here.” I didn’t know the implications of my words but I imagined God looked down at me, smiled and said “Done.” From then on the plan was placed in motion.
What I realized about God is that sometimes when we least expect it and we’re not looking for it, he makes our dreams come true. That the things you ask for He wants to grant. I think that is so cool.
So I am having a particularly deep moment. You know those moments when you can find something significant in every little thing. So here are some nuggets I got while skating. Some are obvious and we’ve heard but humor me.
1) When you fall, get right back up. Don’t focus on the fall.
I was ice skating and I kept seeing people fall. Some immediately got up, brushed themselves off and kept going. Others lingered down on the ground and then everyone had to skate around them as to not create a collision. Isn’t that like our walk sometimes? We mess up and then instead of just asking for forgiveness and moving forward we decide we are just going to stay down and defeated. Then we take that attitude with us everywhere we go. Sometimes we even cause others to fall which is even worse
2) Do life at your own speed
As I watched little kids skating I noticed that they skated very slowly. They took their time and they didn’t try to move faster because others were passing them by. They were focused on themselves. Wouldn’t we all be much better off if we were able to go to life at our pace and stop looking at others as a gauge and barometer for where we should be? Oh wait. We are adults we do have that choice.
3) Don’t get too cocky or you’re sure to fall
So this is the first time I have skated and not fallen. Contrary to popular belief just because I dance doesn’t mean that I am not clumsy. I am. So what I noticed is that as I started getting my groove and started feeling myself, I attempted to do extra stuff and almost fell. That’s how we act in life. We do well in our walks for a bit and think we are impenetrable and wham! That’s when we get sucker punched because we thought we were too holy for that to happen.
Ok I’ve snapped out of my deep moment and have moved on. You know what I can’t stand? A complaining party pooper. If I hadn’t said it already I have two guests staying with me. One is my friend and the other is her friend. All this heifer does is complain. She is complaining about the fact that it’s cold. You came to New York in the dead of winter what the heck did you expect? Did you not check the weather forecast before you left? Then she didn’t want to skate because she fell when she was 8 and doesn’t want to relive that terrible experience. Are you serious? Do I sympathize or clown because you’re almost 40 letting something that happened 30 years ago hinder your fun now? It’s not like you were skating on a half frozen pond and fell through and almost drowned and someone saved you at the last moment. You just fell. I remember at one point telling Jaime, “She got one more time to complain and I’m going to punch her in the face.” So we dropped her off at the apartment and went to the movies. You are not going to ruin my vacation because you’re being a loser.
Whenever someone emulates a behavior I don’t care for I take a minute to reflect. I have heard that the things you don’t like in others are often a reflection of what you detest in yourself. So I thought about whether I complained. I realized that for the first few months that I was here all I did was complain. I hated everything about New York because it wasn’t California. I got over that when I accepted that though New York is different than California it still had a lot of things to offer. I also apologized to Jaime for having to put up with me during that time.
Tonight I went ice skating in Central Park and as I skated under the clear sky I thought, “How many people get to do this?” I am living a good life. I get to experience things I never have. While the world seems a lot bigger it also seems a lot smaller. There is so much to be done and to see.
It made me remember things I only whispered to myself that God still heard. I remember thinking how cool it would be to live in New York for a year and study dance and do something new. The problem was I was never bold enough to do something like that and didn’t think it would ever happen. I also remember going on a trip to New York and staring at the Ailey studio and telling God to, “Just leave me here.” I didn’t know the implications of my words but I imagined God looked down at me, smiled and said “Done.” From then on the plan was placed in motion.
What I realized about God is that sometimes when we least expect it and we’re not looking for it, he makes our dreams come true. That the things you ask for He wants to grant. I think that is so cool.
So I am having a particularly deep moment. You know those moments when you can find something significant in every little thing. So here are some nuggets I got while skating. Some are obvious and we’ve heard but humor me.
1) When you fall, get right back up. Don’t focus on the fall.
I was ice skating and I kept seeing people fall. Some immediately got up, brushed themselves off and kept going. Others lingered down on the ground and then everyone had to skate around them as to not create a collision. Isn’t that like our walk sometimes? We mess up and then instead of just asking for forgiveness and moving forward we decide we are just going to stay down and defeated. Then we take that attitude with us everywhere we go. Sometimes we even cause others to fall which is even worse
2) Do life at your own speed
As I watched little kids skating I noticed that they skated very slowly. They took their time and they didn’t try to move faster because others were passing them by. They were focused on themselves. Wouldn’t we all be much better off if we were able to go to life at our pace and stop looking at others as a gauge and barometer for where we should be? Oh wait. We are adults we do have that choice.
3) Don’t get too cocky or you’re sure to fall
So this is the first time I have skated and not fallen. Contrary to popular belief just because I dance doesn’t mean that I am not clumsy. I am. So what I noticed is that as I started getting my groove and started feeling myself, I attempted to do extra stuff and almost fell. That’s how we act in life. We do well in our walks for a bit and think we are impenetrable and wham! That’s when we get sucker punched because we thought we were too holy for that to happen.
Ok I’ve snapped out of my deep moment and have moved on. You know what I can’t stand? A complaining party pooper. If I hadn’t said it already I have two guests staying with me. One is my friend and the other is her friend. All this heifer does is complain. She is complaining about the fact that it’s cold. You came to New York in the dead of winter what the heck did you expect? Did you not check the weather forecast before you left? Then she didn’t want to skate because she fell when she was 8 and doesn’t want to relive that terrible experience. Are you serious? Do I sympathize or clown because you’re almost 40 letting something that happened 30 years ago hinder your fun now? It’s not like you were skating on a half frozen pond and fell through and almost drowned and someone saved you at the last moment. You just fell. I remember at one point telling Jaime, “She got one more time to complain and I’m going to punch her in the face.” So we dropped her off at the apartment and went to the movies. You are not going to ruin my vacation because you’re being a loser.
Whenever someone emulates a behavior I don’t care for I take a minute to reflect. I have heard that the things you don’t like in others are often a reflection of what you detest in yourself. So I thought about whether I complained. I realized that for the first few months that I was here all I did was complain. I hated everything about New York because it wasn’t California. I got over that when I accepted that though New York is different than California it still had a lot of things to offer. I also apologized to Jaime for having to put up with me during that time.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
A New York Christmas Eve
I don’t know how Jesus was so forgiving. Did he ever hold a grudge? I have been frustrated at a friend who I recently loaned money to. Now I understand the principal of not lending money that you can’t afford to get back. I just wasn’t pleased with how they handled the situation and not giving it back when they said they would. So I have decided I won’t loan anymore money to people. I have to just give it away or I will always be irritated. You also have to know people. If the person has a bad track record with money and paying people back then why should you expect they will do different by you? Because you’re friends? Yeah right. That’s like the girl who dates a guy who was a cheater in the past and thinks they are the different girl. Boo yeah right. You are not different.
Don’t you hate it when you have an ailment and the day you go to the doctor it mysteriously disappears only to reappear after you leave? That’s what happened to me. I have guests visiting so now no crackheads want to beg, all the homeless people checked into shelters and no African music is playing on my block. It inspired me to write a poem.
Twas the night before New Years, when all through the house
Don’t you hate it when you have an ailment and the day you go to the doctor it mysteriously disappears only to reappear after you leave? That’s what happened to me. I have guests visiting so now no crackheads want to beg, all the homeless people checked into shelters and no African music is playing on my block. It inspired me to write a poem.
Twas the night before New Years, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even Roger the mouse.
The stockings were hung by the fire escape with care,
The stockings were hung by the fire escape with care,
In hopes that St Nick the pimp would soon be there.
Jaime and Dez were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of seeing real trees danced in their heads.
And mamma in her scarf, and I in my cap,
And mamma in her scarf, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew in a rush,
Tore open the curtains (wait we don’t have curtains) and blew off the dust.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature crackhead with a bottle of beer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick the pimp.
More rapid than pigeons his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Crackhead! now, Rat! Now, cross dresser and Vixen!
On, black girl! On, Spanish girl! drunkard put on your mittens!
To the top of the roof! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild wind fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the roof-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of bootlegs, and a pimp named Nick too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the fire escape Nick came with a bound.
This negro was dressed in all fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and dirt.
A bundle of bootlegs he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes-so glossed over! His dimples how merry!
His teeth were like butter, his lips like a blackberry!
His droll soup cooler lips were drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a big beer belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, with a butt big as mine,
And I laughed when I saw him, until he pulled out his nine!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And stole all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the fire escape he rose!
He sprang to the subway station, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all ran like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy New years to all you suckers, and to all a good-night!"
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Death to Ikea instructions
Has anyone ever bought anything from Ikea? While I love Ikea there are too many darn pieces to the furniture. On top of that the directions consist of pictures only but that makes it way too easy to invert a piece or mess up and have to start over. It took me three hours to put a nightstand together and I was pissed. If you ever look at those instructions they show the people smiling as they put together the pieces. Why are they smiling? There is nothing fun or amusing about this. In fact when I have kids I am going to make them put together Ikea furniture as a form of punishment right after I make them watch The Passion of the Christ. Between those two things I will have the most well behaved children ever birthed.
Jesus is better than us all
I’d have to think that Jesus being the son of God and all had to have been very clean. With that being said I wonder how often he washed his hands. He was human so that means he was susceptible to diseases just like us. Did the disciples ever get sick? I mean He was healing leprosy and all sorts of stuff and it’s not like they had hand sanitizer.
I ask because today I helped a homeless man in the wheelchair across the street. He decided he wanted to thank me by kissing my hand. I have to admit I was a little disgusted. I mean I am not really a fan of strangers touching me nor kissing my hand. In that moment I thought of Jesus and how he is a much better person than I will ever be. Duh!!!
I ask because today I helped a homeless man in the wheelchair across the street. He decided he wanted to thank me by kissing my hand. I have to admit I was a little disgusted. I mean I am not really a fan of strangers touching me nor kissing my hand. In that moment I thought of Jesus and how he is a much better person than I will ever be. Duh!!!
The World is Coming to an End
I think the world may officially be coming to an end. I was in the grocery store and there was a set of those 25 cent machines. The contents of one were Bling Teeth. Great now every kid in America can put fake bling in their mouth and emulate Lil Wayne. What’s next? Maybe they should sell miniature fake Grey Goose bottles and bikinis. Then the little girls on the playground could wear them and the boys could poor the bottle over their head. Whatever happened to pogs or just playing with rocks?
Death by Pigeon
A pigeon almost killed me today. He was literally flying at eye level. He saw me walking but instead of flying around me he kept coming. It was like he stared intently in my eyes and said, “Move nigga!” He darn near ran into my face and I had to step to the left to avoid being attacked. These New York birds are no joke.
Having health insurance is a blessing. It truly is so I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. I have great insurance and my thinking is that it should afford me some options that would otherwise not be available to me. Namely, my doctor’s office shouldn’t be or resemble a free clinic. Am I downing free clinics? Of course not! If I didn’t have insurance that’s where I would be too. But I do have insurance. I was searching for a doctor’s office close to home and found one not too far from me. When I got there do you think it was a doctor’s office? No it was a free clinic.
Now how do you know the difference? Oh that’s easy. The first would be the big clear bowl with condoms sitting on the counter with a free please take one sign. If you can get a pap smear, open heart surgery, a physical and give birth all in the same building it’s a free clinic. If more than two doctors share the office and on any given day you could see someone else, it’s a free clinic. Now all of this isn’t bad but I have insurance. I knew I should have just found a doctor in a white area.
Well at least I got to see Ailey for free. That made it worth it.
Having health insurance is a blessing. It truly is so I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. I have great insurance and my thinking is that it should afford me some options that would otherwise not be available to me. Namely, my doctor’s office shouldn’t be or resemble a free clinic. Am I downing free clinics? Of course not! If I didn’t have insurance that’s where I would be too. But I do have insurance. I was searching for a doctor’s office close to home and found one not too far from me. When I got there do you think it was a doctor’s office? No it was a free clinic.
Now how do you know the difference? Oh that’s easy. The first would be the big clear bowl with condoms sitting on the counter with a free please take one sign. If you can get a pap smear, open heart surgery, a physical and give birth all in the same building it’s a free clinic. If more than two doctors share the office and on any given day you could see someone else, it’s a free clinic. Now all of this isn’t bad but I have insurance. I knew I should have just found a doctor in a white area.
Well at least I got to see Ailey for free. That made it worth it.
Snow, Snow, Snow
Let me tell you something. Snow aint nothing but soft white rain. That’s it. It seems all nice and pretty, but your hair naps up the same as it does in rain. Me being a Cali girl I didn’t understand why everyone had umbrellas out. I thought, “Hey idiots! It’s snow, not rain!” Now I totally understand. Bottom line. Snow should only be allowed in black and white movies and in snow globes
Thursday, June 4, 2009
12/12/08 Florida part 1
I am really inspired right now. I am a firm believer that who you are is a compilation of the people you surround yourself with. That means that in each of the areas that you want to experience growth in you need to have someone around you who is stronger than you. I am learning to do this in many areas including spiritually, monetarily and in dance. As I am at this conference around all of these people who have done well for themselves I am encouraged that I can do the same. Sometimes we hit snags and we fail and we make the determination that that is our fate.
I’m one of those people that need to hear the horror stories. So often when you meet people who are successful they speak of all they have now and where they are, but often many of us would benefit to know where they’ve been. It is easy to deceive yourself into thinking that because they are doing well now that it was always that way or that they have no more troubles or concerns. That’s not the case.
Part of this convention was an awards ceremony at a hotel. So we all get dressed up in formal gowns that force us to suck in our stomachs and shoes that hurt after five minutes. It’s so exciting. Are you sensing my sarcasm? Anyone who has ever had catered dinners at the hotels know how it works. They give you a choice of iced tea, coffee or water. I mean dang can we have lemonade sometimes? They bring out the salad and the rolls. Then you get the main course then dessert. Usually the food is just ok, but this hotel had awesome food. I have never seen anyone ask for another plate because you just don’t. They paid for one plate per person. But my feeling is they made the food based on numbers and some people paid and didn’t show up right? So why let the food go to waste? So because I like to defy rules and go against the grain I asked for another plate. And you know what? They gave it to me. The word says ask and you shall receive. Why shouldn’t that apply to food?
I’m one of those people that need to hear the horror stories. So often when you meet people who are successful they speak of all they have now and where they are, but often many of us would benefit to know where they’ve been. It is easy to deceive yourself into thinking that because they are doing well now that it was always that way or that they have no more troubles or concerns. That’s not the case.
Part of this convention was an awards ceremony at a hotel. So we all get dressed up in formal gowns that force us to suck in our stomachs and shoes that hurt after five minutes. It’s so exciting. Are you sensing my sarcasm? Anyone who has ever had catered dinners at the hotels know how it works. They give you a choice of iced tea, coffee or water. I mean dang can we have lemonade sometimes? They bring out the salad and the rolls. Then you get the main course then dessert. Usually the food is just ok, but this hotel had awesome food. I have never seen anyone ask for another plate because you just don’t. They paid for one plate per person. But my feeling is they made the food based on numbers and some people paid and didn’t show up right? So why let the food go to waste? So because I like to defy rules and go against the grain I asked for another plate. And you know what? They gave it to me. The word says ask and you shall receive. Why shouldn’t that apply to food?
12/12/08 Florida part 2
You never know someone until you live with them or are forced to stay in a hotel room with them for days on end. I rarely room with people I don’t know, but it was cost effective for this trip. Now I know them as associates but beyond that not so much. We are all different type of women and there were things I could appreciate about them and things that made me want to run away and hide. I was staying with these different women and I wanted to briefly describe them. I’m curious if you will be able to figure out which one I am.
Women #1: She is determined and never quits. Her personality is at times so strong that it makes it difficult for her to get along with others, especially women. She loves the Lord, but sometimes it comes off as being legalistic and not accepting of people who are not like her. She says whatever is on her mind without thinking but at the same time is very sensitive. Things have to be her way and she will inconvenience the entire world to get what she wants. She is that person who is uptight and never wants to be late. Her very presence can stress you out. But she is the most caring person and would give her right arm to those she cares about. She is extremely loyal.
Women #2: She is a really laid back woman. The type of person that anyone can hang out with and get along with and she finds it especially easy to get along with the guys. She is a naturally beautiful woman who doesn’t fuss much with hair and makeup unless it is a special occasion. She is kind of down for whatever and goes with the flow. She is highly opinionated and believes her way to be the correct way though she will listen to your point of view. She is very smart and has a lot of great skills but sometimes doesn’t recognize how great she is.
Women #3: She is super goofy. She is always making people laugh which makes them want to be around her. Sometimes she can’t turn this off and it can appear over the top or like she is attempting to get attention. The other side of her is that she is mature and has the ability to look at other’s situation objectively. It makes it easy for her to talk to. Often she is the peacemaker trying to make sure everyone gets along and smoothing out rocky situations. Her tolerance is really low and her moods change like underwear. She is like a chameleon and adapts to whatever situation she is in. She can be the life of the party but when she is ready to go that’s that.
Women #4: She is the ultimate girly girl. She has more makeup, facial products and stuff than you could imagine. Her regimen to prepare for her day and to go to sleep is ridiculous. She is always late because she is getting ready even though she is the first person in the shower. She takes a great deal of pride in how she looks every time she steps out the door. She is very kind and cares about others though she can be highly self-absorbed. Men naturally flock to her and she doesn’t mind using this to her advantage as long as it furthers her goals and dreams. She is quiet and introspective and doesn’t waste time on idle words.
Now I possess elements of all these women but I am describing four very different women. This is what I observed while being around them in and out of the workplace. It has been a long time since I have hung out with a group of women so I found it very enlightening. It has brought me to this question…
Is there something wrong with a man you hardly know taking you on a shopping spree? This is something I am pondering. I am really fascinated by all of this. Now what differentiates a gold digger from someone who just falls into a favorable situation? Maybe a gold digger seeks it. I ask because this happened to woman #4.
No sooner than when she exited the plane a man began to follow her (unbeknownst to her). She just thought he was coincidentally in all the same places as her in the airport. He finally approached her and they made a date for that evening. He has been around all weekend although she just met him. She doesn’t claim to love him or anything but isn’t opposed to getting to know him. As a date he wanted to take her shopping. He is wealthy and she needed some suits. Now is this wrong? She didn’t mislead him into thinking there would be an exchange for the shopping spree. She didn’t ask for it nor did she bring it up again. Is it wrong for her to go shopping on his tab? Would I do the same? Probably not but only because once he told me he was following me my crazy radar would’ve went off.
Conversely what kind of man extends these type of things to a woman he just meets? I am not saying he is a bad guy but could it be a self esteem issue. Maybe he felt she was over his head so he wooed her with gifts. I don’t know. Just an observation.
One last thing. You know what’s worse than sleeping next to a man snoring at night? Sleeping next to a woman who snores like a man. Women #1 snored so bad during this trip. There are no words to describe it. The first night it wasn’t that bad. The funny part is she tried to blame her snoring on someone else. She claimed she heard women #2 snoring. No boo. You snored so loud you woke yourself up. Don’t try to blame that on anyone else.
The next night only Jesus saved her from my wrath. I was already sleeping in the hotel room when she came in and began to be loud. So then I was awake. Before I could get back to sleep the snoring began. I was pissed. I looked at the other women in the room sound asleep. In my head I thought can’t you hear this? Oh that’s right you have earplugs in. So I just had to sit there trying to sleep. What made it worse was we had to be up so so early the next morning. I called her name hoping she would turn on her side. I thought of stuffing a sock in her mouth. I thought of putting a pillow over her head but instead put it over mine. I could still hear this heifer. I got so frustrated I went out into the hallway of the hotel and begin to pray. Seriously. First I begged God to shut her up because I was so sleepy and tomorrow was going to be a long day. I mean if He could part the Red Sea clearly he could part a way through her nasal cavity where air could get in and out silently.
Second I prayed that I would be able to control my irritation if for some reason I couldn’t get back to sleep. I can be really moody and if I couldn’t sleep because she was moving bulldozers with her snores I would be irritated. I am not a liar and my face expresses how I really feel really well. So I knew I would be a witch tomorrow and I wanted to head off the devil and remind myself to stay cool.
So I sat on that hallway floor, rocked myself, calmed down and went back to the hotel room. Eventually I did get to sleep.
Women #1: She is determined and never quits. Her personality is at times so strong that it makes it difficult for her to get along with others, especially women. She loves the Lord, but sometimes it comes off as being legalistic and not accepting of people who are not like her. She says whatever is on her mind without thinking but at the same time is very sensitive. Things have to be her way and she will inconvenience the entire world to get what she wants. She is that person who is uptight and never wants to be late. Her very presence can stress you out. But she is the most caring person and would give her right arm to those she cares about. She is extremely loyal.
Women #2: She is a really laid back woman. The type of person that anyone can hang out with and get along with and she finds it especially easy to get along with the guys. She is a naturally beautiful woman who doesn’t fuss much with hair and makeup unless it is a special occasion. She is kind of down for whatever and goes with the flow. She is highly opinionated and believes her way to be the correct way though she will listen to your point of view. She is very smart and has a lot of great skills but sometimes doesn’t recognize how great she is.
Women #3: She is super goofy. She is always making people laugh which makes them want to be around her. Sometimes she can’t turn this off and it can appear over the top or like she is attempting to get attention. The other side of her is that she is mature and has the ability to look at other’s situation objectively. It makes it easy for her to talk to. Often she is the peacemaker trying to make sure everyone gets along and smoothing out rocky situations. Her tolerance is really low and her moods change like underwear. She is like a chameleon and adapts to whatever situation she is in. She can be the life of the party but when she is ready to go that’s that.
Women #4: She is the ultimate girly girl. She has more makeup, facial products and stuff than you could imagine. Her regimen to prepare for her day and to go to sleep is ridiculous. She is always late because she is getting ready even though she is the first person in the shower. She takes a great deal of pride in how she looks every time she steps out the door. She is very kind and cares about others though she can be highly self-absorbed. Men naturally flock to her and she doesn’t mind using this to her advantage as long as it furthers her goals and dreams. She is quiet and introspective and doesn’t waste time on idle words.
Now I possess elements of all these women but I am describing four very different women. This is what I observed while being around them in and out of the workplace. It has been a long time since I have hung out with a group of women so I found it very enlightening. It has brought me to this question…
Is there something wrong with a man you hardly know taking you on a shopping spree? This is something I am pondering. I am really fascinated by all of this. Now what differentiates a gold digger from someone who just falls into a favorable situation? Maybe a gold digger seeks it. I ask because this happened to woman #4.
No sooner than when she exited the plane a man began to follow her (unbeknownst to her). She just thought he was coincidentally in all the same places as her in the airport. He finally approached her and they made a date for that evening. He has been around all weekend although she just met him. She doesn’t claim to love him or anything but isn’t opposed to getting to know him. As a date he wanted to take her shopping. He is wealthy and she needed some suits. Now is this wrong? She didn’t mislead him into thinking there would be an exchange for the shopping spree. She didn’t ask for it nor did she bring it up again. Is it wrong for her to go shopping on his tab? Would I do the same? Probably not but only because once he told me he was following me my crazy radar would’ve went off.
Conversely what kind of man extends these type of things to a woman he just meets? I am not saying he is a bad guy but could it be a self esteem issue. Maybe he felt she was over his head so he wooed her with gifts. I don’t know. Just an observation.
One last thing. You know what’s worse than sleeping next to a man snoring at night? Sleeping next to a woman who snores like a man. Women #1 snored so bad during this trip. There are no words to describe it. The first night it wasn’t that bad. The funny part is she tried to blame her snoring on someone else. She claimed she heard women #2 snoring. No boo. You snored so loud you woke yourself up. Don’t try to blame that on anyone else.
The next night only Jesus saved her from my wrath. I was already sleeping in the hotel room when she came in and began to be loud. So then I was awake. Before I could get back to sleep the snoring began. I was pissed. I looked at the other women in the room sound asleep. In my head I thought can’t you hear this? Oh that’s right you have earplugs in. So I just had to sit there trying to sleep. What made it worse was we had to be up so so early the next morning. I called her name hoping she would turn on her side. I thought of stuffing a sock in her mouth. I thought of putting a pillow over her head but instead put it over mine. I could still hear this heifer. I got so frustrated I went out into the hallway of the hotel and begin to pray. Seriously. First I begged God to shut her up because I was so sleepy and tomorrow was going to be a long day. I mean if He could part the Red Sea clearly he could part a way through her nasal cavity where air could get in and out silently.
Second I prayed that I would be able to control my irritation if for some reason I couldn’t get back to sleep. I can be really moody and if I couldn’t sleep because she was moving bulldozers with her snores I would be irritated. I am not a liar and my face expresses how I really feel really well. So I knew I would be a witch tomorrow and I wanted to head off the devil and remind myself to stay cool.
So I sat on that hallway floor, rocked myself, calmed down and went back to the hotel room. Eventually I did get to sleep.
12/11/08 Barbie versus Women
It’s crazy that I have traveled more than I ever have while living in New York. Since leaving California I have visited Vegas, Pennsylvania, Virginia, DC, Jersey, Georgia and am headed in Miami for a convention with my company. I am convinced it’s because the states are really close together and it takes like five minutes to be in another place. So like I said I am in Miami and am excited. The weather is great and the sun is shining.
Cities have personalities just as people do. If you asked people for certain characteristics about cities they would be able to supply a pretty finite answer. For instance, everyone thinks that people in California are friendly on the surface but generally materialistic and fake. Because clearly we all live five minutes from the beach and that’s all we do we are not as intelligent as the rest of the world. New York has a reputation of being fast paced. Its people are considered rude and no nonsense. I had never been to South Beach and what I learned was what was important to the inhabitants there. I am just going to list some things I saw.
1) Mannequins with boob jobs. I guess technically it wasn’t a boob job on a mannequin but they were all oversized. Every female mannequin. If they were on a real person they would probably topple over. Just like Barbie. Let’s take a commercial break to talk about Barbie versus a real woman. I’m sure some of you have read this before but humor me.
Barbie's legs are 50% longer than her arms, whereas the average woman's legs are only 20% longer than her arms.
To look like a Barbie proportionally, a healthy woman would need to add 61 cm to her height, subtract 15 cm from her waist, add 13 cm to her chest, and 8 to her neck length. I wouldn’t mind the addition of 13cm to my chest. Just kidding. Kind of.
If a woman had the same measurements as Barbie, she would not have enough body fat to menstruate (and obviously to have children). On some days that would seem tempting but I’ll take kids for $500 Bob.
There are 3 billion women on the planet who don't look like Barbie; only 8 women come close.
Barbie would be unable to walk upright (she would need to walk on all 4's): her feet are so proportionately small that her chest would pull her perpetually forward onto her toes.
Cities have personalities just as people do. If you asked people for certain characteristics about cities they would be able to supply a pretty finite answer. For instance, everyone thinks that people in California are friendly on the surface but generally materialistic and fake. Because clearly we all live five minutes from the beach and that’s all we do we are not as intelligent as the rest of the world. New York has a reputation of being fast paced. Its people are considered rude and no nonsense. I had never been to South Beach and what I learned was what was important to the inhabitants there. I am just going to list some things I saw.
1) Mannequins with boob jobs. I guess technically it wasn’t a boob job on a mannequin but they were all oversized. Every female mannequin. If they were on a real person they would probably topple over. Just like Barbie. Let’s take a commercial break to talk about Barbie versus a real woman. I’m sure some of you have read this before but humor me.
Real Women
Average woman's height is 5'4"
Their weight is approx. 140 lbs.
They wear a size 14 dress
Their bust is between 36" and 37" (B cup)
Their waist is between 30" and 34"
Their hips average between 40" and 42"
Their shoe size is estimated to be between 8.5 and 9.5
Average woman's height is 5'4"
Their weight is approx. 140 lbs.
They wear a size 14 dress
Their bust is between 36" and 37" (B cup)
Their waist is between 30" and 34"
Their hips average between 40" and 42"
Their shoe size is estimated to be between 8.5 and 9.5
Barbie (as a human)
Barbie's height would be 7'2"
Her weight would be 101 lbs.
She would wear a size 4 dress
Her bust would be 39" (FF cup)
Her waist would be 19" (same as her head)
Her hips would be 33"
Her shoe size would be a 5
Barbie's height would be 7'2"
Her weight would be 101 lbs.
She would wear a size 4 dress
Her bust would be 39" (FF cup)
Her waist would be 19" (same as her head)
Her hips would be 33"
Her shoe size would be a 5
Barbie's body would have room for only half of a liver and only a few inches of intestines, as opposed to the usual 26 feet. The result: chronic diarrhea and death from malabsorption & malnutrition. How attractive is that? Chronic diarrhea anyone?
Barbie's neck is twice as long as the average human's which would make it impossible to hold up her head. So she would look like a bobble head?
Barbie's waist is the same circumference as her head. How is that even possible? Talk about hour glass figure. I would imagine watching her eat would be similar to watching a snake eat a whole rat. Its body expands to make room.
Barbie's legs are 50% longer than her arms, whereas the average woman's legs are only 20% longer than her arms.
To look like a Barbie proportionally, a healthy woman would need to add 61 cm to her height, subtract 15 cm from her waist, add 13 cm to her chest, and 8 to her neck length. I wouldn’t mind the addition of 13cm to my chest. Just kidding. Kind of.
If a woman had the same measurements as Barbie, she would not have enough body fat to menstruate (and obviously to have children). On some days that would seem tempting but I’ll take kids for $500 Bob.
There are 3 billion women on the planet who don't look like Barbie; only 8 women come close.
Barbie would be unable to walk upright (she would need to walk on all 4's): her feet are so proportionately small that her chest would pull her perpetually forward onto her toes.
Well that’s what the mannequins looked like and their nipples were really oversized so that you could see them through every shirt. Highly inappropriate. Don’t they have bras for mannequins?
2) I met at least one man there who was working as a club promoter at night to put himself through medical school. Wanna know what he was going to school for? You guessed it! To be a plastic surgeon.
3) Sucky dancers with boob jobs dancing on the bars in restaurants. Yes they were hired and they were terrible dancers. All I could think is why would you hire these terrible dancers and think it would promote your restaurant. If I wasn’t saved I would’ve pushed them off the bar and shown them how it was done. I actually did that once a long long long time ago. Some of you actually knew that Dez. Let’s not talk about it.
4) Drag queens with microphones on the street that clown people walking by. It really bothered me that he was doing this. He said something to one of my colleagues as we walked by. The old Dez came out for a second and I turned around for a rebuttal but two of the guys I was with grabbed me and told me not to do it. It made sense later. This man dressed as a woman make think he is actually a she and therefore see no problem hitting me in my face. He may be dressed as a woman but still had the strength of a man. Yeah that would be all bad. Plus we were walking by a gay club so I could’ve really made a lot of trouble for myself. Thank you Jesus!!!
That concluded my night in South beach!!!
That concluded my night in South beach!!!
12/3/08 Hoodwinked at Christmas
Jaime, my mom and I went to the Christmas Tree Lighting in Rockefeller Center and it was amazing. If you can get past all the people confined in a limited amount of space then you can really enjoy a lot of what New York has to offer. We have gotten a lot of favor when it comes to experiencing things in New York. We seem to always know someone who knows someone even though we don’t know that many people. Because Jaime’s friend’s mom works in Rockefeller Center, we got VIP passes. Did this mean our view was that great? Not really but that’s not the point.
I have to find a new word to use instead of bamboozled. I use it entirely too much and it’s getting on my nerves. The new word is…hoodwinked! That’s how I felt at the tree lighting. It was airing “live” on TV yet some of the artists weren’t even there. For instance Beyonce was supposedly there live but we were looking at her on a screen as well though we had a clear view of the stage. They taped it on the roof in a different location. So I didn’t get to see Beyonce but I got to see Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers to my hearts content. Do I look like a 13 year old? I don’t care about seeing them. Give me a break!
Something that I have discovered is that when you live somewhere you often overlook the culture and richness of that place. There were so many people who had traveled from other countries to see New York but I know natives who have never been to the Statue of Liberty or other historical landmarks. Crazy huh? Not really. I didn’t do stuff in California. I was too busy living life to pay attention to stuff like that.
One more thing. You know the movie A Christmas Story? I love that movie. It is a classic in my eyes. Remember when Ralphie’s mom put like 2,000 layers on his brother so he would stay warm? He had on so many layers he couldn’t put his arms down? That’s how Jaime looks in the winter. Like a big freakin 5 year old abominable snowman. Its classic!
I have to find a new word to use instead of bamboozled. I use it entirely too much and it’s getting on my nerves. The new word is…hoodwinked! That’s how I felt at the tree lighting. It was airing “live” on TV yet some of the artists weren’t even there. For instance Beyonce was supposedly there live but we were looking at her on a screen as well though we had a clear view of the stage. They taped it on the roof in a different location. So I didn’t get to see Beyonce but I got to see Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers to my hearts content. Do I look like a 13 year old? I don’t care about seeing them. Give me a break!
Something that I have discovered is that when you live somewhere you often overlook the culture and richness of that place. There were so many people who had traveled from other countries to see New York but I know natives who have never been to the Statue of Liberty or other historical landmarks. Crazy huh? Not really. I didn’t do stuff in California. I was too busy living life to pay attention to stuff like that.
One more thing. You know the movie A Christmas Story? I love that movie. It is a classic in my eyes. Remember when Ralphie’s mom put like 2,000 layers on his brother so he would stay warm? He had on so many layers he couldn’t put his arms down? That’s how Jaime looks in the winter. Like a big freakin 5 year old abominable snowman. Its classic!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
11/28/08 : Asian Persuasion
Why do I have the worse flights ever? Granted I am grateful. Some people can’t even afford to pay for a plane ticket and would ride in a cargo plane. So I am not complaining. All I’m saying is that sometimes it would be nice to not sit next to married couples that aren’t idiots.
They were acting like three years olds. I was sure that they were high on something because they were so over the top. They were yelling, talking loud and they kept asking for more and more bags of peanuts. Dang eat before you get on the plane. Plus you only get two bags of peanuts. What was the kicker is that they were Black. Man I wish I was Asian right now. I know the people looking assumed that we were together. They kept looking at me like control your parents. I wanted to yell that they weren’t with me.
They were acting like three years olds. I was sure that they were high on something because they were so over the top. They were yelling, talking loud and they kept asking for more and more bags of peanuts. Dang eat before you get on the plane. Plus you only get two bags of peanuts. What was the kicker is that they were Black. Man I wish I was Asian right now. I know the people looking assumed that we were together. They kept looking at me like control your parents. I wanted to yell that they weren’t with me.
11/27/08: Hot in Herrre
I don’t think I will ever sin again. Ok that’s not the truth, but I’m sure hell is really hot and I just don’t want to go there. I know it may seem as if I am rambling but I do have a point. Our apartment is like a furnace. It is burning up all the time. I thank God for heat but man it’s hot!!! We live in an old apartment that doesn’t have central air or heat. That means that every room has a radiator that heat comes out of. On top of that the Super controls the heat plus heat rises and we are on the fifth floor. It’s so hot that our ceiling fans and windows are constantly open. Our house has been deemed the naked house because it is too hot to wear pajamas with the feet in them or anything. Check this out. It is so hot that we are running the air conditioner. Who runs the air conditioner in the winter? We do. I sweat my hair into naps while I sleep because it is so hot. I don’t sleep with a blanket. On top of that there is this pole in our kitchen that heat comes out of as well. It is smoking hot and several times I have burned my arm or shoulder trying to open the fridge. That’s precisely why I don’t want to go to hell. If it is this hot on Earth then hell has to be much worse.
I think random thoughts or hear things and it causes me to research. Well…brace yourself. I thought the other day, “What if Obama is the anti-Christ?” I like him and I definitely didn’t want him to be so I pulled out my bible and researched it. I also asked my pastors. The consensus is no he isn’t but based on my conversation with Pastor Chuck I knew I wasn’t the first person to ponder this. Typing this makes me a little nervous. I know the government monitors everything. They probably wire tap my thoughts. I am sitting here waiting for them to blast through the glass windows or ceiling and arrest me for treason. Obviously I watch too many movies.
I think random thoughts or hear things and it causes me to research. Well…brace yourself. I thought the other day, “What if Obama is the anti-Christ?” I like him and I definitely didn’t want him to be so I pulled out my bible and researched it. I also asked my pastors. The consensus is no he isn’t but based on my conversation with Pastor Chuck I knew I wasn’t the first person to ponder this. Typing this makes me a little nervous. I know the government monitors everything. They probably wire tap my thoughts. I am sitting here waiting for them to blast through the glass windows or ceiling and arrest me for treason. Obviously I watch too many movies.
11/21/08: Attitude Adjustment Needed
Ok. So I was really worried about my parents being in the same room. I thought that they would have trouble getting along and it would be awkward. To my utter surprise they had no problems. It was the interaction between my Dad and I that turned everyone’s head. I wasn’t mean to him I was just cold. I am not one of those people that prescribe to the ideology that because you are my parent that you get some special pass where I have to be your friend. He was in fact a stranger regardless of the fact that he was my dad. As the oldest I experienced the most heartache. In a sense I feel slighted. I have tried and even thought that I had forgiven him but I wasn’t even able to be cordial to him. I made snide remarks and really didn’t want to have anything to do with him.
Not saying its ok but he does things that make me question him. While my mother and I took my Papa to Chemotherapy he took my brother and sister shopping. Now it’s not about the stuff. I don’t need anyone to provide materially for me. God does that and I am doing just fine. But in my eyes you have three kids here yet you favor the other two and make that clear.
My behavior must have gotten bad because my mother made it a point to go talk to my father and we had a mediated counseling session. It went well I guess. I got to hear his side though I didn’t have much to say. I was skeptical to say the least but I can’t harbor unforgiveness in my heart. I am willing to get to know my father; I just don’t want to be disappointed by empty promises. He apologized. I don’t think he has ever apologized to me about anything so that showed growth.
There are very few people in my life whose attitudes and persona are just constant. One of those people is my Papa. My whole life he has been one of the most positive people I know. Even once he was diagnosed with cancer he refuses to be a victim. He speaks as if he is not sick to the point that you almost believe that he doesn’t have cancer. That encourages me. I had come with the mentality that this would be the last time that I would see him. That he was dying. But after being in his presence his very attitude wouldn’t allow me to believe it. If he wouldn’t accept death for himself why should I?
He was recently recognized as a cancer survivor by the American Cancer Society. He was included in a book and they held an awards ceremony. I have included an excerpt of what my grandfather said about living with cancer.
“Living with cancer is not very hard as long as you do what your doctor says to do and put your faith in the Lord. Sometimes you find yourself a little bit down and wondering why it is you. Then you start to think why not you? It is just the Lord who is tempting your faith – to see how strong your faith in Him really is.”
How could I show such lack of faith when my Papa refuses to let his faith be moved? I have to fight alongside him until he gets better.
Not saying its ok but he does things that make me question him. While my mother and I took my Papa to Chemotherapy he took my brother and sister shopping. Now it’s not about the stuff. I don’t need anyone to provide materially for me. God does that and I am doing just fine. But in my eyes you have three kids here yet you favor the other two and make that clear.
My behavior must have gotten bad because my mother made it a point to go talk to my father and we had a mediated counseling session. It went well I guess. I got to hear his side though I didn’t have much to say. I was skeptical to say the least but I can’t harbor unforgiveness in my heart. I am willing to get to know my father; I just don’t want to be disappointed by empty promises. He apologized. I don’t think he has ever apologized to me about anything so that showed growth.
There are very few people in my life whose attitudes and persona are just constant. One of those people is my Papa. My whole life he has been one of the most positive people I know. Even once he was diagnosed with cancer he refuses to be a victim. He speaks as if he is not sick to the point that you almost believe that he doesn’t have cancer. That encourages me. I had come with the mentality that this would be the last time that I would see him. That he was dying. But after being in his presence his very attitude wouldn’t allow me to believe it. If he wouldn’t accept death for himself why should I?
He was recently recognized as a cancer survivor by the American Cancer Society. He was included in a book and they held an awards ceremony. I have included an excerpt of what my grandfather said about living with cancer.
“Living with cancer is not very hard as long as you do what your doctor says to do and put your faith in the Lord. Sometimes you find yourself a little bit down and wondering why it is you. Then you start to think why not you? It is just the Lord who is tempting your faith – to see how strong your faith in Him really is.”
How could I show such lack of faith when my Papa refuses to let his faith be moved? I have to fight alongside him until he gets better.
11/20/08: Be Your Own Brand
Trivia question of the day. Let me preface this with a statement. I believe each individual is their own brand name. For instance, you know a Tide box is orange. Tony the Tiger is on a box of Frosted Flakes. So whatever you are trying to market you actually become the billboard for. Now let me ask this question…
Why does your hairstylist’s hair always look a mess (besides Marcel)? Why do manicurist nails look a mess? Ok nails I can understand because you’re always doing someone’s nails, but what about those toes? Why does my optometrist wear glasses? If you can’t see the letter “E” why do you expect me to? Why does my dentist have crooked yellow teeth? Can’t you operate on yourself for free? Aren’t you like a walking billboard? Would I really want to get my work done from someone who doesn’t first work on themselves?
In a broader scheme of things isn’t this like us as Christians? We want to tell someone to get their teeth fixed before we work on ours. We want to remove the splinter from someone else’s eye before we remove the plank from ours. Nowadays everything is a lesson for me. I learned that I need to work on being the best that God has called me to be and let my light shine first.
Why does your hairstylist’s hair always look a mess (besides Marcel)? Why do manicurist nails look a mess? Ok nails I can understand because you’re always doing someone’s nails, but what about those toes? Why does my optometrist wear glasses? If you can’t see the letter “E” why do you expect me to? Why does my dentist have crooked yellow teeth? Can’t you operate on yourself for free? Aren’t you like a walking billboard? Would I really want to get my work done from someone who doesn’t first work on themselves?
In a broader scheme of things isn’t this like us as Christians? We want to tell someone to get their teeth fixed before we work on ours. We want to remove the splinter from someone else’s eye before we remove the plank from ours. Nowadays everything is a lesson for me. I learned that I need to work on being the best that God has called me to be and let my light shine first.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
11/11/08: Nasty Foot Looker Returns
This week has been such that I just can’t get going. I am so so tired it is unbelievable. So I did the unthinkable. During my lunch I went into my boss’ office and took a nap underneath her desk. Now understand that my boss is out of town three to four days a week in another office in Chicago. She told me that I should feel free to use her office whenever I needed and today I needed to take a nap. I know it was a bold move but I wasn’t getting any work done and needed to perk up. Oh at least I went into an office, closed the door and tried to be discreet. Some of ya’ll fall asleep at your desks. Now what?
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- I know I don’t need another hobby but I started to learn how to knit. Some of the women (and men) at my job stay after work once every two weeks and knit. They invited me and I figured why not? It’s always good to try something new. I actually did quite well. It made me excited. I want to learn how to make a scarf since its cold here. Maybe I’ll finish it before winter is over. You can learn a lot from people
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I really do enjoy cooking. A lot. Something about it is soothing. I try to make new recipes every week and even experiment with making my own stuff. This week I made my own Teriyaki sauce and it came out really really good. I figured I would share this experience with others as I grow and get better.
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So I have referred to nasty foot looker several times and his inability to keep in the friend zone right? Well I had decided not to let that bother me. If that’s how he was gonna be then it was on him if he got his feelings hurt. I had done more than my share to explain the situation to him. So he texted me to ask me how I was doing and to tell me he was sick. I told him that the first step was to stop saying he was sick. He didn’t understand, so I used that opportunity to explain faith to him without shoving God down his throat. I explained to him that a millionaire doesn’t run around saying “I’m poor!” “I’m gonna be broke!” They run around speaking things into existence.
My heart was in the right place but it just didn’t work. He went all the way left with it. He said that meant that all he had to do was keep speaking a relationship into existence and it would happen. I said no because I had free will and that only applied to promises God already gave us like health.
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He wanted to hang out so I was gonna do something like a movie where we didn’t have to talk. Let me say this. He isn’t a bad guy. He is actually a good guy. I just don’t like him. So I explained to him that I would hang out with him but only if he never mentioned liking me ever again. If he did, I wouldn’t talk or hang out with him ever again. I was dead serious. It’s awkward and when someone presses that hard especially when you tell them you don’t like them it appears desperate.
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- We kept talking and he kept pressing so I finally told him that he was trying too hard and he needed to fall back. He keeps approaching this as if there was ever a chance for this to be more than a friendship and it didn’t. He wants something different from me than I want from him and I’m not interested. The conversation didn’t end on the best note and we probably won’t speak again? Now was I mean? I mean I told him from jump and I never gave him any indication that it could be more. Whatever. I don’t care that much.
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- Oh you know what else? I forgot. He wanted to pick me up from my house to go to the movies. I told him it wasn’t happening and I would meet him at the theater. You know what he said? Still don’t trust me? No. I don’t know you and you don’t know me so how could trust be established? I know you’re not crazy. So. That has nothing to do with trusting someone I see. You have trust issues. No I don’t have trust issues. You have not warranted my trust. You keep jumping the gun on a lot of stuff. When people are so quick to jump into things that actually turns people off. (Cricket Cricket). I tried to be nice.
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- I know I don’t need another hobby but I started to learn how to knit. Some of the women (and men) at my job stay after work once every two weeks and knit. They invited me and I figured why not? It’s always good to try something new. I actually did quite well. It made me excited. I want to learn how to make a scarf since its cold here. Maybe I’ll finish it before winter is over. You can learn a lot from people
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I really do enjoy cooking. A lot. Something about it is soothing. I try to make new recipes every week and even experiment with making my own stuff. This week I made my own Teriyaki sauce and it came out really really good. I figured I would share this experience with others as I grow and get better.
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So I have referred to nasty foot looker several times and his inability to keep in the friend zone right? Well I had decided not to let that bother me. If that’s how he was gonna be then it was on him if he got his feelings hurt. I had done more than my share to explain the situation to him. So he texted me to ask me how I was doing and to tell me he was sick. I told him that the first step was to stop saying he was sick. He didn’t understand, so I used that opportunity to explain faith to him without shoving God down his throat. I explained to him that a millionaire doesn’t run around saying “I’m poor!” “I’m gonna be broke!” They run around speaking things into existence.
My heart was in the right place but it just didn’t work. He went all the way left with it. He said that meant that all he had to do was keep speaking a relationship into existence and it would happen. I said no because I had free will and that only applied to promises God already gave us like health.
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He wanted to hang out so I was gonna do something like a movie where we didn’t have to talk. Let me say this. He isn’t a bad guy. He is actually a good guy. I just don’t like him. So I explained to him that I would hang out with him but only if he never mentioned liking me ever again. If he did, I wouldn’t talk or hang out with him ever again. I was dead serious. It’s awkward and when someone presses that hard especially when you tell them you don’t like them it appears desperate.
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- We kept talking and he kept pressing so I finally told him that he was trying too hard and he needed to fall back. He keeps approaching this as if there was ever a chance for this to be more than a friendship and it didn’t. He wants something different from me than I want from him and I’m not interested. The conversation didn’t end on the best note and we probably won’t speak again? Now was I mean? I mean I told him from jump and I never gave him any indication that it could be more. Whatever. I don’t care that much.
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- Oh you know what else? I forgot. He wanted to pick me up from my house to go to the movies. I told him it wasn’t happening and I would meet him at the theater. You know what he said? Still don’t trust me? No. I don’t know you and you don’t know me so how could trust be established? I know you’re not crazy. So. That has nothing to do with trusting someone I see. You have trust issues. No I don’t have trust issues. You have not warranted my trust. You keep jumping the gun on a lot of stuff. When people are so quick to jump into things that actually turns people off. (Cricket Cricket). I tried to be nice.
11/10/08: Green Eggs and Ham
You ever have that aha moment with a guy? That moment that makes you want to slap yourself? That moment where you think you like someone and realize you don’t? The moment you realize that the “special treatment” you thought was being doted on you was actually being allotted to any person that walks into the female bathroom.
I had that moment this weekend. It wasn’t like I liked the guy or was all ga ga over him. He was on the possibility list. The if I decide I may want to date or get to know someone you could be a possibility. He wasn’t a stranger. We are actually pretty good friends from California. I thought that maybe I was on his possibility list too but now I am realizing that either the requirements to get on that list are low or he doesn’t have a list. Not quite sure which one it is.
I had hung out with him in small doses but never for a long period of time. What I realized is that if you think you like someone observe them in many different settings among many different people before you decide.
Here’s what I know. I am not perfect, but who I am is who I am. If I don’t drink over here I will not drink anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them Sam I Am. I am loud, goofy and I am like that everywhere. Whether you like or accept me is up to you and I really don’t care (most times). At least I know I am being me. What I don’t like are chameleons. Someone who changes with the environment. You cuss over here but not over there. You drink here but not over there. Be you. Don’t change because you are around the “saints.” That’s what I observed. Once I saw that I realized that that is not a man who can even be on the possibility list. I don’t know who I am supposed to get to know. It’s like having split personalities. But that’s good. Now we can keep our friendship pure.
I had the opportunity to go to Virginia this weekend and it was so so nice. Sometimes it’s nice to be able to get away from the city. To see trees and foliage. I loved it. It is so beautiful down there. It just made me realize that I don’t want to stay in New York forever. It’s not the place for me and my piece of mind. But I do appreciate what I am learning from being here and what it is bringing out of me.
I do not belong in a club. Every now and then I end up in one and it’ s like why. I usually end up observing or just acting silly. But that is the difficulty of being out of town, with no car, no sense of direction and you’re with other people.
I had that moment this weekend. It wasn’t like I liked the guy or was all ga ga over him. He was on the possibility list. The if I decide I may want to date or get to know someone you could be a possibility. He wasn’t a stranger. We are actually pretty good friends from California. I thought that maybe I was on his possibility list too but now I am realizing that either the requirements to get on that list are low or he doesn’t have a list. Not quite sure which one it is.
I had hung out with him in small doses but never for a long period of time. What I realized is that if you think you like someone observe them in many different settings among many different people before you decide.
Here’s what I know. I am not perfect, but who I am is who I am. If I don’t drink over here I will not drink anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them Sam I Am. I am loud, goofy and I am like that everywhere. Whether you like or accept me is up to you and I really don’t care (most times). At least I know I am being me. What I don’t like are chameleons. Someone who changes with the environment. You cuss over here but not over there. You drink here but not over there. Be you. Don’t change because you are around the “saints.” That’s what I observed. Once I saw that I realized that that is not a man who can even be on the possibility list. I don’t know who I am supposed to get to know. It’s like having split personalities. But that’s good. Now we can keep our friendship pure.
I had the opportunity to go to Virginia this weekend and it was so so nice. Sometimes it’s nice to be able to get away from the city. To see trees and foliage. I loved it. It is so beautiful down there. It just made me realize that I don’t want to stay in New York forever. It’s not the place for me and my piece of mind. But I do appreciate what I am learning from being here and what it is bringing out of me.
I do not belong in a club. Every now and then I end up in one and it’ s like why. I usually end up observing or just acting silly. But that is the difficulty of being out of town, with no car, no sense of direction and you’re with other people.
Nov 8: Adventures in DC
I am making my first trek in four years to DC and I am really excited. It will be nice to get out the city and see some new surroundings. What I love is the close proximity in which states reside in the southeast. So in four hours time I will find myself in a completely different state. I wonder what adventure it holds for me.
I found that I didn’t even need to leave the state of New York to encounter the first adventure. I merely needed to step onto the bus that would be transporting me. It stank. It smelt like doo doo balls and fatback. It was really gross. To add insult to injury I usually pick up on every noise on a bus, plane, etc. so the lady smacking her gum in the seat in front of me was really starting to piss me off. Then I had to pee but didn’t want to risk catching Hepatitis C on the disgusting toilet located on the bus.
Riddle me this. If you knew that you were having guests come from out of town you would make sure that you were there to pick them up in a timely manner right? No not my friend. He wanted to make sure this trip was as pleasant as possible by being more than an hour away when my bus arrived. Did I mention that he was in another state? Sure the states are close together so this doesn’t really matter but I thought it added a little drama. I had to talk to Jesus so I wouldn’t have an attitude about it. Then I brushed it off and decided that as his punishment he would be paying for everything this weekend. My meals, entertainment, souvenirs, whatever. I’m still very excited about this trip.
I found that I didn’t even need to leave the state of New York to encounter the first adventure. I merely needed to step onto the bus that would be transporting me. It stank. It smelt like doo doo balls and fatback. It was really gross. To add insult to injury I usually pick up on every noise on a bus, plane, etc. so the lady smacking her gum in the seat in front of me was really starting to piss me off. Then I had to pee but didn’t want to risk catching Hepatitis C on the disgusting toilet located on the bus.
Riddle me this. If you knew that you were having guests come from out of town you would make sure that you were there to pick them up in a timely manner right? No not my friend. He wanted to make sure this trip was as pleasant as possible by being more than an hour away when my bus arrived. Did I mention that he was in another state? Sure the states are close together so this doesn’t really matter but I thought it added a little drama. I had to talk to Jesus so I wouldn’t have an attitude about it. Then I brushed it off and decided that as his punishment he would be paying for everything this weekend. My meals, entertainment, souvenirs, whatever. I’m still very excited about this trip.
11/6/08: All the Above
I have recently stepped into the world of business and you know what I realized? People lie, cheat and just act dumb. As a young woman I am learning first hand that people don’t take you seriously, they think they’re smarter than you and will try to get over on you for their own gain.
I had one of the most annoying, irritating and stupid experiences of my life today. I was meeting with a potential client who I realized early on wasn’t interested in getting help more than he was interested in me. There are no words to even describe this man and why he thought he ever had a chance to go out on a date with me. Some things are deal breakers. I already mentioned height. I also cannot get over age. If you are 40 and over don’t even talk to me. My mind naturally says “You should be dating my mom. You should be dating my mom.” Thinking of dating someone the same age as my parents makes my stomach sick and is giving me a headache.
First off he brought me a gift. What the heck? How awkward. He bought me a cake. I don’t even like cake that much, especially not the type he presented. Then throughout the meeting he just kept staring at me. He kept interrupting to ask me if I would go out with him. I continued to tell him no. He would ask “why not? Am I too old? Too fat? Not good looking enough?” Yes! Yes! All of the above but if I said that I would be a jerk. I finally ended the meeting and told him that I wouldn’t work with him because he had crossed the line. He left the building but lingered outside trying to wait for me. He said he wanted to walk me home. Are you crazy? No. So I pretended to be on my cell phone until he left. He kept banging on the window trying to get my attention. I ignored him. He finally left, but I walked a different route home as to ensure he wasn’t following me. I kept thinking he would jump out of a bush somewhere. Crazy man. It was a shame too. He really needed help, but oh well. If he can’t retire that’s not on me. I tried to help him.
I promise since I have been in New York I have not met one decent datable man.
I really think this is purposely. God must want me to focus on other things. He is making it really easy when I keep running into D.A.N.’s
I had one of the most annoying, irritating and stupid experiences of my life today. I was meeting with a potential client who I realized early on wasn’t interested in getting help more than he was interested in me. There are no words to even describe this man and why he thought he ever had a chance to go out on a date with me. Some things are deal breakers. I already mentioned height. I also cannot get over age. If you are 40 and over don’t even talk to me. My mind naturally says “You should be dating my mom. You should be dating my mom.” Thinking of dating someone the same age as my parents makes my stomach sick and is giving me a headache.
First off he brought me a gift. What the heck? How awkward. He bought me a cake. I don’t even like cake that much, especially not the type he presented. Then throughout the meeting he just kept staring at me. He kept interrupting to ask me if I would go out with him. I continued to tell him no. He would ask “why not? Am I too old? Too fat? Not good looking enough?” Yes! Yes! All of the above but if I said that I would be a jerk. I finally ended the meeting and told him that I wouldn’t work with him because he had crossed the line. He left the building but lingered outside trying to wait for me. He said he wanted to walk me home. Are you crazy? No. So I pretended to be on my cell phone until he left. He kept banging on the window trying to get my attention. I ignored him. He finally left, but I walked a different route home as to ensure he wasn’t following me. I kept thinking he would jump out of a bush somewhere. Crazy man. It was a shame too. He really needed help, but oh well. If he can’t retire that’s not on me. I tried to help him.
I promise since I have been in New York I have not met one decent datable man.
I really think this is purposely. God must want me to focus on other things. He is making it really easy when I keep running into D.A.N.’s
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Election Day (Part 1)
I have to say that this whole election process has been one of the most surreal moments in American history and I am glad I was able to experience it in my lifetime. Though as the days of election closed in it became evident that we could have a black president I still wasn’t sure that it could happen.
There have been two subjects that were always taboo to discuss with others. Money and political alignment. People just didn’t talk about those things with one another. In the past months that has changed.
I must say that I was glad to be able to experience this, especially in New York. I say this because in California I may have been a little disconnected from the process for several reasons. One being that I would be driving therefore missing the general buzz that filled the air that day. Second, because I lived in a predominately white area in California. There would be an excitement, but the excitement that permeated Harlem was incredible.
I initially went to the wrong polling place and I am glad that it wasn’t where I was supposed to vote. The lines were ridiculous. They stretched around buildings and blocks. People didn’t seem deterred. They were determined to place their vote. Young, black, old, white it didn’t matter, they were going to place their vote.
So just in case you didn’t know taking photos inside a polling place is a bad thing. You’re not allowed to do that. In all honesty I’m not sure if I knew that or not, so I started snapping away. For a while nobody said anything. People kind of stared at me but so what? Eventually someone said I couldn’t take pictures and I stopped. So yeah that’s a bad thing.
I had to vote at the most ancient polling booth ever. I wish I could’ve taken a picture but I had already gotten told this wasn’t allowed and there was a long line. Plus I wasn’t trying to do anything that would disqualify my vote. So you just have to close your eyes and imagine it based on my description. You know most places have the computers you can vote on or the little machines that you mark. But not in New York. They always have to be the difficult state. First off, there was a physical person there to describe how to use this contraption. Contraption or The Beast are the only words that truly capture the magnitude of this polling booth.
You walk in and the curtain closes behind you. It made me feel like The Wizard of Oz. Like I was controlling something else. The Beast was much taller than me. Literally. You have to mark your choices and at the bottom was this huge lever that you had to use both hands to move from right to left. I think in its previous life this was the same lever used to awaken Frankenstein. Then you were done. I felt bamboozled. How did I know that it really counted my vote? People don’t get their own individual ballots that they drop in a box or anything. You turn the lever and that’s it. Was this some kind of conspiracy?
People were just so excited to vote. They were even friendlier than normal. A New Yorker actually smiled at me. Can you believe it? I thought I might pee in my pants!
When I got off the train and entered Chelsea it was the same type of pandemonium. Sure the sea of faces were a different color but it seemed everyone and their mama was voting. I got to work and people were talking about it. I really felt bad for McCain supporters. In general, I noticed those for McCain weren’t so vocal about their platform and beliefs. It was like they were in hiding hoping to not be discovered.
There have been two subjects that were always taboo to discuss with others. Money and political alignment. People just didn’t talk about those things with one another. In the past months that has changed.
I must say that I was glad to be able to experience this, especially in New York. I say this because in California I may have been a little disconnected from the process for several reasons. One being that I would be driving therefore missing the general buzz that filled the air that day. Second, because I lived in a predominately white area in California. There would be an excitement, but the excitement that permeated Harlem was incredible.
I initially went to the wrong polling place and I am glad that it wasn’t where I was supposed to vote. The lines were ridiculous. They stretched around buildings and blocks. People didn’t seem deterred. They were determined to place their vote. Young, black, old, white it didn’t matter, they were going to place their vote.
So just in case you didn’t know taking photos inside a polling place is a bad thing. You’re not allowed to do that. In all honesty I’m not sure if I knew that or not, so I started snapping away. For a while nobody said anything. People kind of stared at me but so what? Eventually someone said I couldn’t take pictures and I stopped. So yeah that’s a bad thing.
I had to vote at the most ancient polling booth ever. I wish I could’ve taken a picture but I had already gotten told this wasn’t allowed and there was a long line. Plus I wasn’t trying to do anything that would disqualify my vote. So you just have to close your eyes and imagine it based on my description. You know most places have the computers you can vote on or the little machines that you mark. But not in New York. They always have to be the difficult state. First off, there was a physical person there to describe how to use this contraption. Contraption or The Beast are the only words that truly capture the magnitude of this polling booth.
You walk in and the curtain closes behind you. It made me feel like The Wizard of Oz. Like I was controlling something else. The Beast was much taller than me. Literally. You have to mark your choices and at the bottom was this huge lever that you had to use both hands to move from right to left. I think in its previous life this was the same lever used to awaken Frankenstein. Then you were done. I felt bamboozled. How did I know that it really counted my vote? People don’t get their own individual ballots that they drop in a box or anything. You turn the lever and that’s it. Was this some kind of conspiracy?
People were just so excited to vote. They were even friendlier than normal. A New Yorker actually smiled at me. Can you believe it? I thought I might pee in my pants!
When I got off the train and entered Chelsea it was the same type of pandemonium. Sure the sea of faces were a different color but it seemed everyone and their mama was voting. I got to work and people were talking about it. I really felt bad for McCain supporters. In general, I noticed those for McCain weren’t so vocal about their platform and beliefs. It was like they were in hiding hoping to not be discovered.
Election Day (Part 2)
After work I attended an election party. Watching the electoral votes jump and the anticipation was almost too much to bear.
Once the polls in California closed it became all too real. We had a Black president. You could hear all types of noise radiating throughout the city. There was this magnetic energy that everyone was feeding off of. So we grabbed our cameras and ran to 125th St. This is a major street in Harlem and we knew tons of people would be there celebrating.
As we walked it began to rain, as if on cue. Great we elect a Black president and now our hair is going to be nappy. Hey at least I know the First Lady can relate. Her hair probably naps up in water just like mine!
It became real to me that when a little child that wasn’t white tells their teacher that they want to be the president it’s not just a far off fleeting dream. That child really could be the president. Excuses about “The Man” (whoever he is) holding us back had been disbarred to some degree. I heard a girl walking down the street crying, “The first lady looks like me!”
So we stayed outside for a while for the festivities, but it became clear I needed to get home. Some people will use any excuse to start acting ignorant. With the amount of drinking and celebrating going on I knew it was only a matter of time before things got out of hand.
So we went back, watched his eloquent speech then prayed for him and our country.
Here are some other pictures you can check out if you’re interested!http://flickr.com/photos/barackobamadotcom/sets/72157608716313371/show/
Once the polls in California closed it became all too real. We had a Black president. You could hear all types of noise radiating throughout the city. There was this magnetic energy that everyone was feeding off of. So we grabbed our cameras and ran to 125th St. This is a major street in Harlem and we knew tons of people would be there celebrating.
As we walked it began to rain, as if on cue. Great we elect a Black president and now our hair is going to be nappy. Hey at least I know the First Lady can relate. Her hair probably naps up in water just like mine!
It became real to me that when a little child that wasn’t white tells their teacher that they want to be the president it’s not just a far off fleeting dream. That child really could be the president. Excuses about “The Man” (whoever he is) holding us back had been disbarred to some degree. I heard a girl walking down the street crying, “The first lady looks like me!”
So we stayed outside for a while for the festivities, but it became clear I needed to get home. Some people will use any excuse to start acting ignorant. With the amount of drinking and celebrating going on I knew it was only a matter of time before things got out of hand.
So we went back, watched his eloquent speech then prayed for him and our country.
Here are some other pictures you can check out if you’re interested!http://flickr.com/photos/barackobamadotcom/sets/72157608716313371/show/
Halloween Pictures
So the guy on the right put on this kangaroo mask and decided he was Jay Z for Halloween. That's messed up!
Yes this is a man.
So they win the award for being most clever. They are baked potatoes!!!Saturday, January 24, 2009
Halloween Pictures
Can you guess who he is?.JPG)
She made this outfit herself. Hey, why does that baby have a cigarette in his mouth?Halloween in NYC
I have never been a fan of Halloween. Ever. In my house it was referred to as the Devil’s holiday per my mother. She really hated Halloween. So for old times’ sake I will recall a Halloween memory. Close your eyes and remember with me. Ok don’t really close your eyes because then you can’t read the memory. Just imagine with your eyes open.
So it was Halloween and I was probably in the 6th grade. My mom had decided that because she couldn’t stand Halloween nobody else in America would enjoy it either. At least in our neighborhood. So while it was still light outside she hid candy around the house for us to eat. When night fell is when the real fun began. Come in closer. Closer. A little bit closer. I want to whisper what we did in your ear. We turned off all the lights. Closed all the blinds and sat really still. We didn’t want the evil trick or treaters to know we were in the house. They weren’t getting any candy. We could hardly breathe. TV? Forget it! The glare from the TV would let the evil six year olds know we were inside. There’s no telling what they would do. They could knock down the doors. In anger and hunger they would mistake us for chocolate bars and eat us. This is a true story. We really did sit in the dark one Halloween. Sorry mom. You knew I had to share this story.
So fast forward years and years later to Halloween in New York. It’s a lot scarier than those six year olds let me tell you. We decided to go out that night. Mainly because there is a huge parade that takes place. I was particularly interested in the parade because hundreds of everyday people would be dancing to Thriller during the parade. So Jaime, my mom and I step out the door and that’s when the drama ensues. It’s like Halloween gives everyone an excuse to act however and wear whatever they want. Here are some highlights (and there are pictures below).
4) A woman at my job is a Wiccan (witch) so we began to discuss it. Come to find out witches fast too. She was fasting because Halloween is like a sacred day or whatever. We talked and I listened and put in nuggets about Jesus when I felt led.
3) In our effort to see the parade better we got the bright idea to climb the scaffold in front of a building. It looked pretty stable and sturdy. We were gung ho until this drunk guy kept encouraging us to go up there with him. When he yelled “Paul help me get these girls up there!” we knew it wasn’t the smartest idea.
2) Unicorn vs. Pornocorn. Yes I saw a grown woman who had sewn her own unicorn costume, horn and all. Later I saw a man dressed as a pornocorn. Can you guess what his horn was made out of? If you guessed a blown up condom you would’ve won a million dollars. Can you believe it?
1) Hundreds of people doing thriller in the streets. I couldn’t get it on camera because it was way too crowded.
So it was Halloween and I was probably in the 6th grade. My mom had decided that because she couldn’t stand Halloween nobody else in America would enjoy it either. At least in our neighborhood. So while it was still light outside she hid candy around the house for us to eat. When night fell is when the real fun began. Come in closer. Closer. A little bit closer. I want to whisper what we did in your ear. We turned off all the lights. Closed all the blinds and sat really still. We didn’t want the evil trick or treaters to know we were in the house. They weren’t getting any candy. We could hardly breathe. TV? Forget it! The glare from the TV would let the evil six year olds know we were inside. There’s no telling what they would do. They could knock down the doors. In anger and hunger they would mistake us for chocolate bars and eat us. This is a true story. We really did sit in the dark one Halloween. Sorry mom. You knew I had to share this story.
So fast forward years and years later to Halloween in New York. It’s a lot scarier than those six year olds let me tell you. We decided to go out that night. Mainly because there is a huge parade that takes place. I was particularly interested in the parade because hundreds of everyday people would be dancing to Thriller during the parade. So Jaime, my mom and I step out the door and that’s when the drama ensues. It’s like Halloween gives everyone an excuse to act however and wear whatever they want. Here are some highlights (and there are pictures below).
4) A woman at my job is a Wiccan (witch) so we began to discuss it. Come to find out witches fast too. She was fasting because Halloween is like a sacred day or whatever. We talked and I listened and put in nuggets about Jesus when I felt led.
3) In our effort to see the parade better we got the bright idea to climb the scaffold in front of a building. It looked pretty stable and sturdy. We were gung ho until this drunk guy kept encouraging us to go up there with him. When he yelled “Paul help me get these girls up there!” we knew it wasn’t the smartest idea.
2) Unicorn vs. Pornocorn. Yes I saw a grown woman who had sewn her own unicorn costume, horn and all. Later I saw a man dressed as a pornocorn. Can you guess what his horn was made out of? If you guessed a blown up condom you would’ve won a million dollars. Can you believe it?
1) Hundreds of people doing thriller in the streets. I couldn’t get it on camera because it was way too crowded.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Nov. 2: Black Girl Finds a Church!!! She thinks
This is too good to be true! I must be dreaming. Did it actually happen? Did I actually find a church that my suits me? Yes I did. Let me tell you how things come full circle. This whole looking for a church thing has been crazy and I feel I have been pretty open to churches. I just wanted to go to a church with good worship and a good word. Now I had been to some that possessed one or the other but not both. So a couple of people had told me about this church I should visit.
I will admit I was a little apprehensive because the church name had Baptist in it. When I think of Baptist all that rushed to my mind was: traditional, old school, stockings (I hate stockings! They make my legs itch and I break out in hives when I wear them), MLK Jr. fans and people catching the spirit and running into walls when the organ strikes up. That may offend some people, but that’s what I think about. I understand that it was an unfair generalization, but that was where I was at. But I was at my wits end so I decided to go and you know what? I really enjoyed it. The pastor is young, the crowd is young and they were lively. They adhered to the spirit and that’s most important. Here is the kicker. Do you know where the church is located? At the end of my block. Literally three minutes walking distance. Crazy right.
Let me tell you something. Before I moved here everyone kept talking about letting Dominicans do my hair. That they make your hair grow, etc. Now I have let Dominicans do my hair since I moved here and there has been ups and downs. Yes they are cheap. It costs like $20 to get your hair done. But in my opinion you get what you pay for. They encourage everyone to get perms because it makes their work easier. They don’t use anything to straighten your hair except a blow dryer. So a perm makes it easy. But for someone like me that has Celie from The Color Purple hair and doesn’t want a perm, they charge me more and don’t get my hair straight. Plus the blow dryer is set to temperature hell so that you feel like your scalp is on fire. So I will be doing my own hair unless I need it trimmed. Then I will just go to a black salon where I’ll have to sit for five hours and a trim means cut three inches. Is there Supercuts anywhere close?
I will admit I was a little apprehensive because the church name had Baptist in it. When I think of Baptist all that rushed to my mind was: traditional, old school, stockings (I hate stockings! They make my legs itch and I break out in hives when I wear them), MLK Jr. fans and people catching the spirit and running into walls when the organ strikes up. That may offend some people, but that’s what I think about. I understand that it was an unfair generalization, but that was where I was at. But I was at my wits end so I decided to go and you know what? I really enjoyed it. The pastor is young, the crowd is young and they were lively. They adhered to the spirit and that’s most important. Here is the kicker. Do you know where the church is located? At the end of my block. Literally three minutes walking distance. Crazy right.
Let me tell you something. Before I moved here everyone kept talking about letting Dominicans do my hair. That they make your hair grow, etc. Now I have let Dominicans do my hair since I moved here and there has been ups and downs. Yes they are cheap. It costs like $20 to get your hair done. But in my opinion you get what you pay for. They encourage everyone to get perms because it makes their work easier. They don’t use anything to straighten your hair except a blow dryer. So a perm makes it easy. But for someone like me that has Celie from The Color Purple hair and doesn’t want a perm, they charge me more and don’t get my hair straight. Plus the blow dryer is set to temperature hell so that you feel like your scalp is on fire. So I will be doing my own hair unless I need it trimmed. Then I will just go to a black salon where I’ll have to sit for five hours and a trim means cut three inches. Is there Supercuts anywhere close?
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Nov. 3
I had an audition today for a hair show in Lisbon, Portugal. It was one of the most awkward things ever. My agent sent me to it, but I am not a model. I am nowhere close to being a model. I don’t have the height, looks, lack of thighs rubbing together. Now I am not downing myself. I like me. It was just weird. It was like crashing a party that you accidently got on the guest list for. The crazy thing is I keep finding myself in these places where I feel I don’t belong. I wonder if there is a reason or if there’s something I am supposed to be doing. I didn’t get the gig but the point was that I went and didn’t let fear get in the way.
I also got asked to do a read through for a movie short. I figured why not. Again, not an actor but at this point in my life I am trying to attempt as many new things as I can. I want to learn to be fearless. That’s the only way to live a full life I believe.
Have you ever started a project or a job and wondered if you were doing a good job? That’s how I felt at my job. I had no gauge of whether I needed to improve my performance or not. I know I was doing the best I could and trying to take as much initiative as I could but I just wanted to know that I was doing the right thing. Finally after being at my job for over a month I finally got that. My bosses finally told me that I was doing an excellent job. That was nice to hear. It wasn’t so much about being pat on the back. It was more so about making sure that I was on the right track.
I am learning how much is based on mindset. Everything begins in your mind. As a man thinketh so he is. It is really true. I try as much as I can to think the right things about myself and others. To train my mind to believe what I want it to believe and vice versa. The mind can’t distinguish from what is real and what is not. So I am literally reprogramming my mind to think the right things. To line my thoughts up with how God sees me and how I want to be in the future. I never realized how tough it is to do that on a regular basis, but I am doing it.
I also got asked to do a read through for a movie short. I figured why not. Again, not an actor but at this point in my life I am trying to attempt as many new things as I can. I want to learn to be fearless. That’s the only way to live a full life I believe.
Have you ever started a project or a job and wondered if you were doing a good job? That’s how I felt at my job. I had no gauge of whether I needed to improve my performance or not. I know I was doing the best I could and trying to take as much initiative as I could but I just wanted to know that I was doing the right thing. Finally after being at my job for over a month I finally got that. My bosses finally told me that I was doing an excellent job. That was nice to hear. It wasn’t so much about being pat on the back. It was more so about making sure that I was on the right track.
I am learning how much is based on mindset. Everything begins in your mind. As a man thinketh so he is. It is really true. I try as much as I can to think the right things about myself and others. To train my mind to believe what I want it to believe and vice versa. The mind can’t distinguish from what is real and what is not. So I am literally reprogramming my mind to think the right things. To line my thoughts up with how God sees me and how I want to be in the future. I never realized how tough it is to do that on a regular basis, but I am doing it.
11/1/08: Be Humble
Today I will give a lesson on things you never say to people. So remember my hood friend Ohio? I hadn’t seen him in a long time. I mean I had actually started getting worried. I had no information on him so it wasn’t like I could check to see if he was alright. But alas I saw him today and this is where I wanted to insert my foot in my mouth. I am not one to hold my tongue though I try. I said, “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you. I thought you got shot or something!” I was earnestly concerned but why the heck did I even need to say that? Stupid!
I got to see an old friend today. She moved to Jersey after having her baby. It was cool to catch up with her. She brought along her brother and sister. Her brother is an opera singer at Julliard. That now makes two black opera singers I know personally. That’s probably all the black opera singers in the world. Ok I am just kidding.
You know how to tell a humble person from someone who isn’t? How and when they use their gift. So I said I knew two opera singers. Both sing great and went to Julliard. The difference? One I have only heard sing within the confines of a play or opera. The other sings down the street and thinks that anyone as much as humming to an Ipod is a challenge for them to show off their skills. Nobody cares. Just sing in your head.
Random note: I met two Tuskegee Airmen in the elevator today.
I got to see an old friend today. She moved to Jersey after having her baby. It was cool to catch up with her. She brought along her brother and sister. Her brother is an opera singer at Julliard. That now makes two black opera singers I know personally. That’s probably all the black opera singers in the world. Ok I am just kidding.
You know how to tell a humble person from someone who isn’t? How and when they use their gift. So I said I knew two opera singers. Both sing great and went to Julliard. The difference? One I have only heard sing within the confines of a play or opera. The other sings down the street and thinks that anyone as much as humming to an Ipod is a challenge for them to show off their skills. Nobody cares. Just sing in your head.
Random note: I met two Tuskegee Airmen in the elevator today.
Oct 30 : Vote for the Black Guy
I can’t believe that I almost didn’t take this job because I was attached to the people where I was. It’s not that it’s the most amazing job ever but I enjoy it and it allows me to utilize more of my skills. This season of my life requires me to leave a lot of the things I don’t want to leave for something unknown. I never know if it is going to be better than what I left but I always know that God has me.
So the homeless guy on our block got arrested today. He was a special guy. No I never spoke to him, but I respected this cat. He built his own little house on the block. He made it out of cardboard boxes, old radiators, and plastic, whatever he could find. He even had a cot on the inside and a door. Yes a door. I saw him sitting at the door one day talking to another homeless guy like it was nothing. At night I would see he sweeping inside to make sure it was clean. Every morning he would pack up all the stuff and lean it against the wall. No one ever tried to steal his stuff and no one threw it away. It was almost like a street code. Well eventually the owner of the store where he was parked in front of called the police because he was getting fined for all the trash. So the police came and the garbage men came and threw away his house. I walked by many days wanting to take a picture of the house, but felt it a little intrusive and disrespectful so I didn’t.
It’s starting to get cold here. I know we haven’t even hit the dead of winter yet. I think the winter is going to make me grumpy. Snow is cute on TV and in movies but not to live in.
Have you ever heard of Black Solidarity Day? I hadn’t until my mom told me about it. I guess apparently people have been celebrating it for years and some people actually take off work to celebrate it. It is observed annually the day before Election Day where people of African descent abstain from social, political and economic affairs. It is based on the play by Douglas Turner Ward called “The Day of Absence.” In this play blacks literally disappeared. It was an effort to show people what the world would be like without black people. In New York it’s still pretty popular. I love learning about that type of stuff. I would’ve never known that.
So I know that everyone is not going to agree with what I write. This may be one of those comments. A lot of people have been going back and forth with people voting for Obama solely because he is black. Now this is what I have to say. I am not mad at any person over the age of 60 who is solely voting for him because he is black. To think of history and how some people have gone from seeing white and black signs on bathroom doors to having a part in electing a black president you can’t really be mad at them for doing so.
Now when it comes to the younger generations we have more of a responsibility because we have to live with the rewards and consequences of who we choose. It is important for us to know the issues and have an understanding of what is going on. All I’m saying is that if I was 60 or 70 I would probably vote for him just because he is Black.
So the homeless guy on our block got arrested today. He was a special guy. No I never spoke to him, but I respected this cat. He built his own little house on the block. He made it out of cardboard boxes, old radiators, and plastic, whatever he could find. He even had a cot on the inside and a door. Yes a door. I saw him sitting at the door one day talking to another homeless guy like it was nothing. At night I would see he sweeping inside to make sure it was clean. Every morning he would pack up all the stuff and lean it against the wall. No one ever tried to steal his stuff and no one threw it away. It was almost like a street code. Well eventually the owner of the store where he was parked in front of called the police because he was getting fined for all the trash. So the police came and the garbage men came and threw away his house. I walked by many days wanting to take a picture of the house, but felt it a little intrusive and disrespectful so I didn’t.
It’s starting to get cold here. I know we haven’t even hit the dead of winter yet. I think the winter is going to make me grumpy. Snow is cute on TV and in movies but not to live in.
Have you ever heard of Black Solidarity Day? I hadn’t until my mom told me about it. I guess apparently people have been celebrating it for years and some people actually take off work to celebrate it. It is observed annually the day before Election Day where people of African descent abstain from social, political and economic affairs. It is based on the play by Douglas Turner Ward called “The Day of Absence.” In this play blacks literally disappeared. It was an effort to show people what the world would be like without black people. In New York it’s still pretty popular. I love learning about that type of stuff. I would’ve never known that.
So I know that everyone is not going to agree with what I write. This may be one of those comments. A lot of people have been going back and forth with people voting for Obama solely because he is black. Now this is what I have to say. I am not mad at any person over the age of 60 who is solely voting for him because he is black. To think of history and how some people have gone from seeing white and black signs on bathroom doors to having a part in electing a black president you can’t really be mad at them for doing so.
Now when it comes to the younger generations we have more of a responsibility because we have to live with the rewards and consequences of who we choose. It is important for us to know the issues and have an understanding of what is going on. All I’m saying is that if I was 60 or 70 I would probably vote for him just because he is Black.
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